Oh, my. I have not written a damn thing since Saturday. What in the WORLD could I be doing? (See title.)

Well, first of all, Sunday morning I took my precious lovelies to camp. And left them there. I have no idea how they are doing currently since the old lady in charge made sure my daughters handed over the cell phones they were attempting to smuggle inside. Either they are carving out days on a nearby tree with their sharpened teeth or clicking their heels through the tulips right now. It would be helpful to know which.

After abandoning my kids at the camp I wish my mom had sent me to, I drove 90 minutes home and then all the way to Maryland with my cousin. We brought Nana dinner and a visit. She’s holding it together but it’s hard to tell if she’s better or worse right now. At ninety, what’s better? Not drooling? Not having a walker? It’s hard to see her that way.

So, yes, I am home alone. Being that way for a few days now has taught me a coupe of things. First of all, I’m not a huge clothes-wearer when no one is around. Also? I forget to eat and stay in the sun far too long exposing parts of myself that really shouldn’t be on display.

Besides the sunburn, I am additionally sore because I dove head first back into working with my personal trainer this week. She is the 20-something firefighter who looks at me, smirks and says, “No, really, do a push up.” Except this time she said something about lunges. The rest is a blur.

Finally, being the compulsive freak that I am, I had to finish the new Stephanie Meyer book because it was so good I thought I was going to bite my flipping fist off. It went on sale Saturday. I began the book Sunday night. This morning I woke up with my face in the final few chapters. There were Cheese-its there too but that’s not important. What is important is that I finished the book and can now resume a somewhat normal life.

That is, if being a woman who can barely sit to pee without grabbing the sink to help lower herself, who leaves her kids at camp and stays up all night reading vampire novels with a sunburned ass is normal.

If you really love me, feed me in your reader!

While the family was in San Francisco last month, we caught a Giants game. It was a beautiful day. We walked to the game like city folk and squealed with delight (maybe only I squealed) when we arrived at the stellar seats a friend had wrangled for us. Second Row Batters Box. Hot Damn.

I guess this is the point where I should admit that I could give a rip shit about baseball. Hit the ball. Run the bases. Tight pants. Spit. Scratch. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So as thrilled as I was to be close enough to see the catcher’s butt crack, I was much more intrigued by the menu that was in my drink holder. And hello? I didn’t even have to get up and walk the long trek to the concession area because there was the sweetest little girl standing by to grant our every overpriced junk food desire.

I really thought nothing could beat the blissful feeling of the sun on my face, a bloody mary in hand and a lap full of nachos but my attention soon shifted when halfway through the third inning, a very interesting couple took their seats in front of us. Batters Box First Row. Damn, they beat us.



Now, this was no ordinary couple. They were exuberant, effervescent and chocked full of themselves as well as the desire to display their affection with sugar on top. I could not help but be sucked in.

During the seventh inning stretch, my husband leaned over to me and asked how I was enjoying the game. It was then that I briefly snapped out of the first row soap opera unfolding in front of me and realized that I had been blatantly eavesdropping. And my cup was empty.

Before you judge me, know this. I am a people watcher. And these people were like presents under my very own Christmas tree.

First of all, he was loaded. Like with a capital DED. He was dripping in purple labels and boy bling. He was at least 10 years older than his date and very secure in his caviar dreamlike status.

She wore sunglasses even as the fog blanketed the stadium in order to hide the dollar signs that flashed like a neon motel vacancy from her eyes. Even though it was a cool afternoon, she soon removed her sweater. She was working up a sweat trying to snare this guy.



I watched her play with his jewelry and spoon feed him clam chowder from a bread bowl. I heard all about their weekend plans to Napa.

“When we get there, I have a surprise for you.”
“A surprise??”
He nodded.
“You know what kind of surprise I want.”
She didn’t wait for him to bite.
“I want diamonds”, she said as she nuzzled his neck.
“Or a new car..”, she whispered.

By this time, I was on the edge of my seat. Seriously, I was hooked like a fish. I wanted to yell/cough into my hand, “PRENUP!” because I was clearly rooting for the guy but …wait…they were getting up…they were leaving…oh shit…oh no…the game was over. But it went so fast!

As bummed as I was that the afternoon sped by so quickly, I definitely left with a deeper understanding of “America’s favorite pastime”. I cannot wait to go to my next baseball game!

If you really love me, feed me in your reader!

Welcome to the July 2008 Perfect Post Awards!

In February of 2006, Lindsay and I launched the Perfect Post Awards in order to share personally captivating posts within a supportive community of talented bloggers like you.


If you’d like to present an award next month, e-mail me and I’ll send you the latest award button code a few days before the 1st. If you’re interested in looking through our past award posts, they can be found here. Thanks to each and every one of you for making the Perfect Post Awards such a great success!!

And now without further adieu, my Perfect Post Award goes to…

Midwestern Mommy for Cancer




I chose this post for more than the obvious reason. MM needs the whole online community in her corner right now sending good thoughts and prayers.

Lisa wrote:
“Cancer. That word scares the hell out of most people — especially those who’ve watched loved ones battle such an evil, unyielding force. The mere mention of the word has always made me shiver. But yesterday one of my biggest fears were realized. Yesterday I found out that I have cancer too.”

The way in which she shared her diagnosis with her readers, while lying in her hospital bed, not knowing what she’s staring at exactly amazed me. I would not have been able to speak much less type. And yet she was able to end her post with a smile.

Please go and share a smile with her today. You have extra, don’t you?

Here’s the list of this month’s winners:

Suburban Turmoil awarded Punk Rock Mommy
What Was I Thinking awarded Blogography
Catnip and Coffee awarded Mrs. Chicken
Not Ever Still awarded For Fathers Only
Scheiss Weekly awarded SteveSpangler.com
Whiskey in My Sippy Cup awarded Schnozzfest
Jodifur awarded Baby-Faith
Oh, The Joys awarded Boobs, Injuries & Dr. Pepper
It’s a Schmitty Life awarded Miss Britt
TechSavvy Mama awarded GreebleMonkey
My Life as a Hotfessional awarded Magpie Musing
S2 Do Life awarded Hot Wheel Hacienda
Sarah and the Good Squad awarded Stimeyland
The Z Files awarded Oh, the Joys
Spit-Up and Stilettos awarded My Life as a Hotfessional
Fear and Parenting in Las Vegas awarded I Read Banned Books
The Madame Queen awarded Jason for the Love of God
Whitterer on Autism awarded Everyday Adventures
Stephanie @ Mama Drama awarded Irish Coffeehouse
Patience is a Virtue awarded Mommy Needs Another Beer
Petroville awarded Midwestern Mommy

♥ Please let me know if you’d like to be on the Presenters List for August ♥

If you really love me, feed me in your reader!

Last night, my sweeter than sweet girlfriends saved me the indecency of drinking alone on my birthday. That’s down and dirty true gal pal love, no?

My mother, my cousin Meredith, Susan, Marina, Ladybug, Wendy, Jenn and Erica were my hot dates at the Bonefish Grill where we enjoyed wine, laughter, our waiter and yes, fish. I had the Chilean Sea Bass. Pan Asian Style.

And NO, I have not changed my clothes since BlogHer. So what?


Here you see proof that I am must be a really boring dinner date.


This is my dear cousin Meredith. We are almost exactly one month apart which means that she gets to be 34 a little while longer. You’d think that would be enough for her. But noooooo…she looks all SmuggyMcSmugPants about it. Eh.

It’s alright. I got presents. Jewelry and wine and pretty dish presents. And the best of all?
I have awesome friends - most of whom are older than me.

If you really love me, feed me in your reader!

Today is my 35th birthday. *sigh*

I wasn’t sure how to celebrate my entry to mid-life so I thought I’d post a few random facts about me. 35 to be exact.

1. I am the eldest of 3 sisters - a fact I don’t often admit.

2. I moved to the Big Apple when I was 18 years old to pursue an acting career.

3. I eloped in Las Vegas when I was 21 and slightly pregnant.

4. The acting dream hit the dust right about then.

5. We have lived in 11 different homes since we were married.

6. Some of my family thinks I am in the witness protection program. I’m not. I’m just running from my past.

7. I have two daughters (ages 9 & 13) and two stepsons (ages 16 & 19). Am old.

8. I went to a Catholic all-girls high school with sexy blue plaid uniforms. Lots o’ lesbians.

9. I was once totally “in love” with Tom Cruise and actually wrote him a letter telling him how great he was. This got me an official membership into his fan club. Yes, I still have the letter.

10. Besides being a theater buff in school, I played softball and soccer. I got my letter in soccer although I was never very good.

11. I am terrified of bridges.

12. My husband has my name tattooed on his arm and I have his on my shoulder.

13. I keep many to-do lists. I would be lost without them.

14. Princess Diana was married on my birthday and died on my wedding anniversary.

15. I am a Leo and as loyal as they come.

16. I love to dance and sing. Just like the Three Little Pigs.

17. I can be a total bitch if I don’t get my way…and really, anytime.

18. I adore spicy food. I double dog dare you to challenge me to a battle of the spices.

19. Sometimes I like being the center of attention but sometimes it makes me all sweaty.

20. I am a Jazzercise instructor.

21. My mother was a nun and my father was in the seminary to become a priest. This is true. I told my entire 10th grade religion class that they met on a retreat and that I was the result of their stolen affair. This was not true.

22. I told Barry Switzer that “Dallas sucks” on a plane back when he was the head coach of the Cowboys. It still feels good.

23. In the 9th grade, I smuggled my dissected frog home from school in my purse because its heart was still beating. I later buried it in the backyard after the ticker stopped on the kitchen table.

24. I got in a wrestling match on the floor of the Trump Plaza Casino with my sister a few years ago. We were very close to getting escorted out by security.

25. I have lived in Maryland, New York, Las Vegas, Virginia, Oklahoma, Georgia and California.

26. I have never missed voting in a presidential election and I believe that you should be ashamed of yourself if you have.

27. I am very shy until I get to know you.

28. I have two Great Danes - one of which I adore almost as much as my own children.

29. As far as television goes, Lost, Survivor, Big Brother, American Idol, The Biggest Loser, The Office and The Family Guy are my must see TV.

30. My cousin Meredith was the brilliant writer who inspired me to begin blogging. She has written many a blog but is in between them right now due to her move from Japan to Virgina. Currently, we’re hoping to come up with a snazzy joint effort to wow your socks off. I’ll keep you posted on that.

31. We are a bi-coastal family. We live in Virginia while my husband runs a company in San Francisco. Not sure how that’s going to work out.

32. At 35, I am ready to start a real career of my own - as soon as I find someone who will hire me.

33. For the life of me, I cannot drive a stick. (Is that what he said?)

34. I could exist on red wine, Coke Zero, Reduced Fat Wheat Thins and Twizzlers. As long as Domino’s delivered. (Items listed in order of importance.)

35. I started blogging in 2005 and now know many of the people in real life that I first became online friends with back then. Raehan, Monty, Angie, Lindsay, Mary, Leanne & Vicki, Mamacita - I love you to teeny, tiny, squishy pieces.

Care to add to my random list?
How about advice for smooth sailing into middle age? I’ll take either.
Or really…just refill my wine glass before you go. Thanks.

If you really love me, feed me in your reader!