…I am up to no good. Nah. That would be too normal.

New Years resolutions are supposed to be a methodical plan of self-betterment. Aha! Finally- a chance to be self-absorbed and applauded for it. You now see why I am an over-achiever on this subject. Let’s talk about me, shall we? Oh goodie!

I take the yearly resolutions I make quite seriously. My thinking is that if you can’t (or I can’t- this is about me, remember?) keep a promise made only to yourself, then what kind of fool schmuck are you? The key is not to make the resolution unattainable. Setting yourself up for failure, especially during those already depressing & dreary winter months, is like writing your own prescription for Prozac. I’m not kidding. I just heard a doctor on the radio this morning talking about setting realistic goals for yourself so as not to increase your chances of falling into a post-holiday depression. (Ummm, the depression comes with the credit card bill. Is the doc going to help me with that?)

I’ve given myself until today to sit down and type out my five 2006 Commandments. Now that the kids are off to school and I have a quiet house, I can actually take a deep breath and figure out how deep or shallow I’d like to be this year. Here’s what I’ve come up with:

1) Procrastinate Procrastinating
I tend to put off the difficult-to-me tasks. I hate to call people. I hate to get my car fixed. (I need to find a woman mechanic) I hate to deal with the finances. I hate to clean toilets. I’ve already taken the bull by the horns with this one. At 9am this morning, I placed a call to the car dealership to get my freaking brand new car repaired (someone dented it while I was Christmas shopping and I didn’t notice it until I got home- but *deep breath* I’m dealing with it, I’m dealing with it).

2) Have More Sex
(with my husband- of course) Not kidding. Not funny. Enough said.

3) Keep my Home and therefore my Life More Organized
I tend to let things pile up until the mood strikes me to go on an organizational rampage. Seeing as though I’m being battered less and less, I’d better just file, fold, and fix as I go.

4) Read The MRFing Manual
Oh God, please help me with this one. I possess some of the coolest gadgets on the planet and I have no idea how to use them. This is due to my inability to comprehend BML (Basic Manual Lingo). Maybe they offer a course somewhere…

5) Look Better
Do I need to remind you that this post is about little ol’ shallow me? Good. Well, I need to get my butt back on the treadmill and find a better skincare regimen. I’m really starting to look and feel old. Shut up.

**FTP**) Be Nice
Oh geez, this is a repeat. I got a FTP (Failed To Perform) on this one for 2005 so it’s back on the list.

And there you have it… I’m off to take down the Christmas decorations, write 20-some odd thank -you notes and read my dented car’s manual. I’m not going to ask you what your 2006 resolutions are because that would be like kicking a dead horse and well, that’s just mean. Instead, I’d like to know:

Share it: