During a few moments of not cleaning this weekend, I went over to see how Monty was doing in The Blog Thunderdome. I was once again surprised to see that many bloggers seem to dislike Mommy-blogs. I’m not kidding, there is a genuine prejudice against us out there and what’s worse, I had no idea.
Why does anyone care if a Mom or Dad wants to blog about their kids? Is this harmful to the internet in some secret way? Are the parents stealing bandwidth from all the single folk out there? Are we sullying the system somehow with our talk of baby burps and Brownie meetings?
I’m also not thrilled with the label “Mommy-blog”. Yes, I’m a mom, but that has nothing to do with why I started this blog. I don’t always talk about my kids and as shocking as this may be, my wonderful children do not totally define my existence. I consider my blog a personal blog- an online journal, if you please. I would be blogging about whatever I was doing in life and it just so happens that I am a Mom, a proud one at that, among many other things.
And what if I did just want to write about my kids every day? What- is that not allowed? Why is that considered as some sort of distasteful blog pollution? Why does my opinion hold less weight as someone else with a different label attached to their blog?
Let’s get this straight. Just because I have children, my blog is slapped with this label (that until now I had no idea was derogatory) and nothing else I have to say really matters in cyberspace. So if you follow this brilliant logic, any successful human on the planet that is also a parent should be disregarded and their opinion considered second class. WTF? This is so backwards! Having children makes you more astute, aware, calculating, careful, clever, cogitative, contemplative, crafty, cunning, discerning, discreet, educated, enlightened, erudite, experienced, foresighted, informed, insightful, intuitive, judicious, keen, knowing, knowledgeable, perceptive, perspicacious, prudent, rational, reasonable, reflective, sagacious, sage, sane, scholarly, sensible, sensing, sharp, shrewd, smart, sound, tactful, taught, thoughtful, understanding and wary. If these haters had kids, I guess they’d know that.
I apologize for this unusual Monday morning rant but I really would like to know the story on this Mommy-blog-hateration. Could someone please fill me in?
I completely agree with your last paragraph! I don’t know why people feel that way, but a couple of years ago, I was directed to this message board for the ‘childless’, who were reallllllyyyy hateful towards people with children. That was a wake up call for me.
You go MommaK!! Many people who don’t have children are jealous, selfish, insensitive idiots who don’t have a clue what life is all about. They think that once you have children, you become a pile of mindless mush who sits around watching soaps, eating bonbons, and doing nothing but laundry. They forget that we had lives before children and we still have lives - separate from the children. These dolts should embrace us — without their mommies, where would they be??? hmmmmm Maybe it is a good thing that their genetic lines stop with them… ;-)
I never heard of such a thing!!!!
Of course I don’t have a blog so maybe that is why I am out of the loop, but my children have grown and I find your blog one of my favorites.
PS I loved your adjectives and they are soooooo true!!
I had no idea that about the mommy blog haters. Maybe these people have nothing better to do with their time? My blog is a total mommy blog because my kids are a huge part of my life, how could I not blog about them from time to time?
Oh well, those haters can just skip right over my blog, won’t hurt my feelings a bit.
Not I, said the Cat.
They have a problem.
There are plenty of blog topics that don’t appeal to me, so I don’t read them & I don’t complain about them. It’s easy, really.
Some people just need to get a life.
I don’t have kids yet, but love “mommy blogs.” Those people don’t deserve the time of day.
Wow! and how is the Monty doing in there?- I better go check on her-you go girl-what part of “personal journal” do people” not get!
Thanks for the nice commet at my place today-it was nice to wake up and have coffee with the wonderful mommak
have a nice week
I don’t get it either MommaK. Chalk it up to stupidity on the haters part. Have a good day honey.
People who dislike mommy blogs? Who knew???
And FWIW, I don’t think your blog is a mommy blog at all. I love your blog!
I totally agree with your comments. I finally registered on blog explosion, and couldn’t decide what my category should be. I knew if I did the “family/kids” thing I’d be labeled as some moron with no sense of humor, or brain cells. (Note to smartass, know-it-all bloggers: Believe it or not, I kept my brain cells with the birth of each child. It’s only the pregnancy that changes us.) Because I have kids doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion about anything non-kid related.
And I just hate, hate, hate the connotation that goes along with the Mommy Blog label. Is there a “bitter, childless single bitch” category, or a “selfish man-whore” category. I think most people aspire to be in a committed relationship with a family they love. Why down us for it?
I don’t read “Mommy” blogs, so yours could NOT possibly be that! There’s more to Petroville than “my kids did this and said that and aren’t they the best?” Lots more.
We all love our own children and take delight in their growth and development, and it’s cute to share things sometimes! There’s always something to learn from another’s experiences, too. Mommy blogs have their place, so mommy-blog bashers, KEEP it to yourselves!
Beautifully written. I hope others link to it.
My blog is not a mommy blog (it’s a rather complex amalgam of subjects) but I am a mom and never hesitate to mention my kids. You go, girl!
I sometimes get irritated with mommy-bloggers that put WAY too much information and pictures of their kids on the internet.
I would LOVE to share more about my kids, but I just don’t, it’s not respecting their privacy.
I tried reading some of the comments on the Thunderdome thingy to see what their complaints were, but the pettiness and hostility was a bit too much. I *do* know that when I first started to blog I somehow picked up that Mommy and Daddy blogs were derided for being little more than an hourly diary of their child/ren’s every move? I haven’t read enough to opine on them either way, but I don’t see that as any different from the personal diary blogs that can be equally dreary. *But* there’s also a lot of people who could write about either and make me want to subscribe to their feed.
So this is just a long-winded way of saying that it’s really silly to dismiss a blog’s quality based on the general topic or theme. And I think your blog is perfectly splendid.
Preach it Sister!
I agree with you, but can I just say how much you using the word “hateration” made me laugh?
Moms have so much to write about their little horrors.
You go, girlfriend. Love the rant.
Hope you are done being green
I do not identify you as ‘mommy blog’. Neither do I consider my own as such. The occassional post about your children in no way makes you a ‘mommy blog’. I do NOT read mommy blogs. The last thing in the world that I want to read is a play-by-play of someone elses child ever single day. I find us (and many others I enjoy reading) to be the “30&40-something” online journalists who have grown and found our niche and are living a good life, blessed and we know it, reaching out to others in like minded ways. We have built our life and we are tuning the fine points -with or without kids.
Your last paragraph really hits head on. So many women have not been raised to nurture one another and to share knowledge and experiences. There was a time when women of different generations mentored the young women coming up in their footsteps. Now days many women see most other women as competition -either for a man, a job, popularity, beauty, etc., lashing out with ‘hateration’. Mostly I think it is just jealousy. There is so much to learn from the women around us. Why throw all of that knowledge away?
I don’t think I have a mommy-blog either. I’ve never thought of myself that way. My blog was about me. Part of me is that I have kids. If they do something cute, dammit, I’m going to post a picture of them or tell the story or something. I also have dogs. Does this make me a doggy-blogger? What about my fish? A fishy-blogger? My frogs are both gone now, so I can’t be a froggy-blogger anymore. Some people are just ignorant. Ignoramooses? Ignoramouses? Ignorasses?
I have no idea why people would be so hostile. I’m a blogger who happens to be a full-time mom. It comes up, sometimes
Mommy blogger here. (Hand raised; head down in shame).
But really, I’m just me writing about what matters to me and the things that make me laugh and cry.
Everywhere I look my kids are right there, so it’s hard not to write about them. People that don’t like that sort of thing stay away. Those who like what I like come back.
It suits me fine.
You are NOT a mommy blogger. You’re just plain old cool and creative.
“Your Mom!”
Love ya, MommaK. I think you need to add about 50 more adjectives to your list at the end of your post, though.
-MommaMaryWhoAlsoHasAPersonalBlogThatFrequentlyMentionsHerKidsSoSueMe
Wow. I never thought of my blog as being a Mommy-blog. But I have kids. And a grandchild. And they figure into my life, and therefore my blog, every day. You know what. If you don’t like it . Don’t read it.
i don’t think of this as a mommy blog at all, to me, if i had to classify it, i’d say it was a party blog.
You know…as much as I write about my family, I’ve never been labeled a daddy blog. Huh…wierd.
I have been called a mother from time to time though.
Yeah, well I don’t like political blogs. Everybody is different.
I’m not writing for them anyway. I’m writing for me.
i think others are hating “mommy blogs” because there are so many moms who blog, whether it be about their children, their jobs, or their political views.
some people are weird that way.
I find the fact that I am a mommy and a blogger conincidental. I wrote things like blogs before I had my Little Princess and I write about things other than her on occasion too. I don’t choose my topics based on whether or not I am a mommy, I choose them based on my life and what interests me and what is on my mind, sometimes that is my Little Princess and sometimes it is not. If people don’t like it, they don’t have to read it. I view my regulars as friends that I look forward to hearing from.
This is a mommy blog? Dang, there goes the blogroll.
I don’t think I’d want to know how people would label mine… LOL
Thanks, MommaK! *hug* I’m in agreement!
A. Why does it matter if someone has a Mommy blog, that shouldn’t mean it’s a bad blog, right?
B. Just because we have kids, we’re labeled Mommy blogs. I don’t get it.
Screw ‘em. We are what we are, and if that’s the best “label” people can come up with, I can only assume they’re not bright or creative enough to come up with something else.
I write what I want on my blog. If others don’t like it, they can kiss my ass in Macy’s window during the Thanksgiving Parade (look closely…lol). I don’t consider your blog a “mommy blog”.
Loved your adjectives — love your blog, mommy or not. If people want to talk about music or architecture or black magic or whatever they talk about, I’ll skip right over them to read about real people with real lives.
YES!!! You are dead on. I had no idea Mommy Blogs were so hated either, and for the life of me I don’t understand what the big deal is.
Some people wouldn’t be entertained or relate, and therefore wouldn’t come back. Others would. Isn’t that what bloggin is all about???
And for the record, I don’t consider Petroville a Mommy Blog, I consider it a SOCIAL EVENT that just happens to be hosted by a classy lady who is also a wife and Mom.
Now MY blog is most definitely a Mommy Blog. I don’t really care what those trolls out there think of it, either. I don’t want ‘em visiting anyway!
I guess what I don’t understand is the judgement they make. There are types of blogs that I don’t like - heavy duty political blogs for one - but I don’t spend my time droning on about how much I don’t like them. I just don’t visit them. Big deal. Seems like a lot of wasted effort on the hateration that could be channeled more creatively.
one of my first clues about mommy-blog-haterdom was during the Best of Blogs awards around this time last year. In the funniest blog category was Finslippy and Fat Eye for the Skinny Guy. All hell broke loose with mommy-blog bashing.
Then the New York Times published something about it and in connection to Dooce and other parent-blogs and our self-absorption and need for validation.
I posted about it back then. I don’t get it either. You have wonder about their relationships and attitudes toward their parents.
http://sleepingmommy.blogspot.com/2005/01/oh-for-crying-out-loud.html
People hate mommy blogs for the same reason they hate self-absorbed childless people — they quickly tire of the me me me attitude (or ‘my kid my kid my kid’
and the insistence that every poop and whimper is an achievement.
Don’t get me wrong — I have two children of my own. But I’m also keenly aware that not everyone is interested in them, nor is it appropriate for me to discuss them or bring them with me, at every opportunity.
It’s sad to see once-intelligent women who actually had interesting lives and careers turn into mushy-mouthed shells of their former selves who write and discuss junior’s every ‘doo doo’ and whether it’s appropriate to potty train at six months. :duh:
Oh, and just for the record — no, I don’t hate either of my parents. They had the good sense to know when to shut up about me when in the company of other adults.
I am sorry but the last paragraph contains a completely unprovable statement. To announce that “having children makes you more astute, aware, calculating . . . .” as if it were fact is absurd. And to act as if these characteristics can almost be defined empirically is even moreso.
It is equally ludicrous to state that “many people who don’t have children are jealous, selfish, insensitive idiots who don’t have a clue what life is all about.” This statement indicates incredible bigotry. Furthermore, how can this actually be proven? For example, aren’t opinions (notice that last word) of what “life is about” incredibly diverse? Is being childless the factor that makes a person insensitive or selfish, or is it something else?
I am very well aware that motherhood is often placed on a pedestal but overall mothers are just people! Some are astute, some aren’t;
some are shrewd, some aren’t; some are bigots, some aren’t.
Surprisingly, I am aware enough to know that the statements I have challenged are nonsense (or to put it more charitably, opinions).
And don’t hate my mother or other mothers.
Thanks for your comment, Gee. Of course that post written many months ago was just my opinion. I was reacting to something very specific - not at all saying that people with children are better, smarter or more astute than those without.
I tried to email you but the address you gave was incorrect. Hope you’ll stop by again.