Living in a small town has many enjoyable benefits. It can provide a peaceful, quiet setting to raise your family and find refuge in nature. The pace is slow and the faces are friendly. Doesn’t John Mellencamp sing a song about living in a small town?
But there are drawbacks. For instance…
The mail man, who is married to the president of the PTA at the school in town, delivers your husbands monthly Playboy subscription with a forced smile.
The checker at the grocery store, who is married to the town doctor, has a very good idea of just how much wine you purchase each week.
Your aerobics instructor, who is married to the local sheriff, knows all about your issues with driving within the speed limit and multiple parking tickets.
The only pharmacist in town knows about everybody’s unmentionables, including your embarrassing rash situation in the nether regions, and is married to the editor of the local newspaper.
Now, of course, I do not have a drinking problem, a police record, a skin rash or read Playboy (much) but you get my idea. No matter where we live the people around us are privy to some of our very personal & private business.
So tell me…
What do your neighbors know about you that you wish they didn’t ?
** I will post the rest of your wonderful limericks over the weekend. You guys are so talented!**
Our houses are situated very close to each other in my subdivision. Imagine you are pulling back the shower curtain in my bathroom - right at chest height in front of you is a window. (Stupid builder.) I have the window covered with an opaque shower curtain (because that window is the only natural light source in the bathroom)cut to fit. My neighbor can look from her dining room window and see the outline of me showering. She’s commented on it.
Teachers know everything…and if the kids live in your neighborhood…better be a good neighbor!
This isn’t about me, but it is about my neighbor. I know that my neighbor’s sister Laura used to be her brother David.
I know that my neighbor Dale’s wife came from Prague, and barely speaks a word of English. Beautiful? Yes! Snobby like all the other neighbors think? No, she just can’t understand what they are saying. I think he bought her, because he’s an ass and no one would be attracted to his chauvanism.
Thanks for the giggle this morning. I’ll have to think on this one and post more later.
I grew up in a “Small Town”….I now live in a “Small Town”……but there is nothing negative about it. I actually like the “Small Town” living. I do know what you speak of though, gossip is everywhere and I have learned to NOT believe a thing I hear unless I hear it from the horses mouth.
Shoot. I was momentarily intrigued that you allowed your husband to subscribe to Playboy…
We live near a super-annoying family that includes a status-seeking mom, a busybody-homeowners-association president dad and a ditzy daughter who’s a mini version of her mom.
At her last sleepover, which my daughter attended, during a game of truth or dare, the daughter took the other girls into her parents’ room while they were out and showed the girls some very interesting sex toys in their nightstand drawers!
This woman is very rude and I’m holding my trump card for the appropriate time- “You know, you might want to put the items in your nightstand somewhere else-Your daughter has been showing them off to her friends.” Mwa ha ha ha Haaaaa!
They can hear our conversations in the back yard. They know that we sometimes get “grumpy.”
Well lets see, I live on a street that only has one house on it and that’s me.
I live in the middle of different stores and restaurants.
In front of my house I see Taco Bell, then the left of my house, is a Jumbo video, and Wendys and then just behind my house is a strip mall with a Moorse’s Suit store, The Goodwill, a XXX shop, the dollar store, Tim Hortons Donut shop and then the Super C grocery store. It then contiunes with a bunch more stores like a Night Bar,the SONY store and a pet shop, a Bank, a Subway and I tanning salon.
The list goes on.
SO the only neighbours I have are STORES. I don’t have any Houses around me. It has it’s up and downs.
Dang…I can’t think of anything. We are so good at hiding things, I don’t think my neighbors know. HA! I love this post though. Thanks for the laugh.
That’s so funny!!! I live in an aparment building where at times I have heard, “Do you know who was walking their dogs together for the third day in a row…?” or “Every day in the elevator, that girl is with another guy. She must be a total slut.” It’s amusing, as long as I’m not the target. I think the worst about me is that my dog has a bad rep for being snippy.
The above commenter “Dena” knows WAY TOO MUCH about me!
I can not think of anything right now.. but I have surely enjoyed reading everyone elses situations :-)
There’s only one other house on my dead end lane, and it’s a quarter mile away. Like being in the middle of nowhere!
P.S. I left a great limerick yesterday and it got EATEN! Now I can’t remember it. *sigh*
Hmmm. I have a large sliding glass door that faces my alley…and I walk around the house in the morning in my bra and underwear. I just hope no one looks in as they’re driving…
my neighbors are wonderful, no complaints here!
Well I will tell you about my next door neighbors. ONce I got locked out so I stayed with them for an hour waiting for my husband to get home. I knew the man was a photographer but didn’t know what kind of pics he takes. Now in his 60’s he takes nature photos. However, when I walked into his office, I saw wall to wall posters of Naked women! Apparently he did well in the 60’s and 70’s.
My husband knows everybody, neighborhood, town, state, I swear. But we don’t draw much attention to ourselves. That’s why I’m the one who’s stand-offish. I know about them, but they don’t know much about me.
My husband has a loud voice and I’m always “shush-ing” him when we’re outside, except when I ask stuff like “Are you taking the gun with you?” or “Are you leaving the gun here?” and he’ll YELL back, “No, I’m leaving the gun with you, honey! It’s in the usual place!”
Our next door neighbours children run around the garden screaming at the top of their voices.
Hey..you’re not supposed to tell people I’m married to the mailman! ;0)
My neighbor’s son knows what I look like in my pj’s…oh wait..I answered the door naked right? LOL!
That I yell very loudly when I am angry ;-)
I yell and my boobs sag! I really should say sorry before I move on friday!
As one of my neighbors just happens to be my mother…I’d have to say she knows EVERYTHING about me that I wish she didn’t.
Including the nasty rashes, as I usually have to ask her what to do about them. LOL
Probably that I’m a procrastinator. Hard for them NOT to know that, though!!
My neighbors know I SCREAM at my kids when I am pmsing and that I use the word “Fuck”….A LOT! Oh the shame…
Not a small town dweller… My best friend is and has lived in the same small town all of her life. The stories are hilarious! The one time I lived in a small community I did learn to be very, very careful. Everyone is related…
Not married, no kids, and don’t know any of my neighbors. My life is pretty private, and I kinda like it that way.
i lived in Small Town… hated it and moved to the Big City… where there are people weirder than me.
currently, all my neighbors are chinese. so they don’t understand what the heck i am saying most of the time.
I have lived and taught in the same small town for 34 years. Not only do we know everything about each other, but people in small towns can also relate to everyones’ detailed past events and carrying ons. You know, the kind we personally would like to forget happened. Would I change it for a big town? Never.
Hello from Michele and pleaseforgive my typo in her comment area….I know you are MommaK and not MoomaK. Good lord, must be because I live in the state of “Happy Cows”.
I never mentioned what my neighbors know about me. They know that I aspire to be “Yard of the Month.” At least they think I do. I honestly don’t. I spend too much money on flowers every year. It’s just more obvious to them this year because our stupid association’s garden committee came up with the loser idea.