What follows is a list of different occupations. You must select at least five of them. You may add more if you like to your list before you pass it on (after you select five of the items as it was passed to you). Of the five you selected, you are to finish each phrase with what you would do as a member of that profession. Then pass it on to three other bloggers.
Here’s that list:
If I could be a scientist… If I could be a farmer…
If I could be a musician… If I could be a doctor…
If I could be a painter… If I could be a gardener…
If I could be a missionary… If I could be a chef…
If I could be an architect… If I could be a linguist…
If I could be a psychologist… If I could be a librarian…
If I could be an athlete… If I could be a lawyer…
If I could be an innkeeper… If I could be a professor…
If I could be a writer… If I could be a backup dancer…
If I could be a llama-rider… If I could be a bonnie pirate…
If I could be a midget stripper… If I could be a proctologist…
If I could be a TV-Chat Show host… If I could be an actor…
If I could be a judge… If I could be a Jedi…If I could be a mob boss…
If I could be a backup singer…If I could be a CEO…
If I could be a movie reviewer… If I could be a monkey’s uncle…
Okay, here’s my pickins:
1) If I could be a chef, I’d create desserts dripping with chocolate and laced with midol and vicodon. They would naturally be fat free and packed with heart healthy anti-oxidants. Just what all of us gals need on those few days a month when we really want to hurt someone. Our husbands wouldn’t know where “our time of the month” went because we’d all be so mellow, skinny & fulfilled.
2) If I could be a psychologist, I’d be so busy dealing with my own repressed, guilt-ridden, bitter, germaphobic family that I’d probably never make it into private practice.
3) If I could be a mob boss, I’d rule the world- or at least my corner of it. Recently I have come to realize and accept that I posses the makings of one great criminal mind. Lucky for me, my fear of incarceration prevents me from putting it to much use. It may come in handy one day but until then it’s filed away neatly in my head under “B” for “Breaking the Law“. Just in case…
4) If I could be a movie reviewer, I’d definitely be a great, big, fat woman. It’s really not a good job choice for me as I have a deep passion for sitting on my ass and eating junk food. Between the popcorn with double butter and the family sized packs of Twizzlers, I’d be taking up 2 theater seats in no time.
5) If I could be a musician, I’d write a follow up song to Sisqo’s “The Thong Song“. It would be titled “Momma, You So Wrong for Showin’ Yo Thong“. My song would be an ode to all of the women who have their thong strings hanging out for the world to pluck. This phenomenon can only be classified as the female version of the plumbers crack. Seriously, do they really not feel this??
Hmmm…now I need to pass this on, huh? I’m tagging 3 fresh faces on my blogroll so I can get to know them better. Maggie, Poopie & PinkSunDrops TAG-YOUR IT!!
—~~~—
The Image Game
A few days ago, Michele played the image game and picked the following kind words and lovely image to describe me. I couldn’t be more flattered. Thank you!
Engaging and caring.
