Among my friends, I’m known as someone who tells it like it is. I’m blunt, they say. I think that may be code for “bitch” but since I’m simply being myself and they seem to love me despite that fact, I just go with it.
Onward!
I’ve seen this around and honestly, no pun intended, I can’t help myself. The rules are simple: I have to list 10 honest things about myself.
1. I plan to take up smoking when I’m 80. At that point, I’m also going to drink way too much, have tons of nude beach time with my husband get sunburned in places that shouldn’t see the light of day.2. I am not an auditory learner. Also, I suck at reading directions. Both explain why you’ll find me “winging it” most of the time.
3. The older I get, I more I like the company of animals over people.
4. Over half of me wants the flu so I can use it as a weight loss method. I’ve been on Nutrisystem for over 3 weeks now and have only lost 3 pounds. The kicker? My mother weighs less than I do and she doesn’t exercise.
5. I’m not on good terms with my 91 year old Nana because she refused to acknowledge my dog’s death last January. She ignored the event and my corresponding sorrow completely and called my mother silly for being upset about it. (My therapist validated me on this one so I’m not feeling the guilt.)
6. Yes, I go to a therapist but not much…like once a month for a “Knock on Wood Check Up”. I call it that because it’s when I stop going entirely that things go haywire…and I’m superstitious.
7. Prozac and Twitter saved my marriage.
8. I used to love the holidays and now I’d just as soon skip them. Or maybe just have them every other year.
9. I think it’s outrageous how self righteous some (mommy) bloggers have become…especially the ones who want to tell you why you can’t do all of the cool things they do because, for them, it’s called something else. Yes, sweetheart, it’s called bullshit.
10. I don’t watch anything that’s not on my DVR. Live TV…are you freaking kidding me? Only when the President is speaking.
And now I’ll shut up because I’m pretty sure that was TMI.
Bonus: Tonight I’ll be picking the winner of this giveaway. Enter for a chance to win a $100 Visa gift card and a Febreze gift basket!
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I tried Nutrisystem a few years ago…lost about a pound a week, too, but as soon as I stopped eating their food the weight came back on (couldn’t possibly be my fault…!) Started Jenny Craig in July, they kicked me out (for food allergies) in September, but the Spouse Thingy still goes and the consultant still helps me out. The JC food is better (and I really liked NS food, except for the NutriToots) and I lost about 2.5 pounds a week on it…still losing. JC is pricey, though.
Either way, the weight never comes off as fast as it went on, it seems…
Muscle weighs more than fat. You need to throw out the scale.
Listen, Bitch, you are the most wonderfully honest person I know and we totally love you for it, admire it and wish we could be a little more like you in that respect. Never change and leave the guilt for the weak (I need it to keep me going)! XOXO
Obviously Nana never had a Dane. I am so with you on the holidays. I think it comes from accumulated years of disappointments. Even if last year was great? I still want a year off to lick my wounds and drum up enthusiasm. Of course, the dog (and the rest of the family) would never forgive me if I flaked out at Christmas, so I muddle through but the decorating, etc? seems to start later every year.
I’m pretty outspoken, too. When I was younger I was always being told that I was a bitch. Now that I’m a tad older most people call me spirited or spunky.
It is sad that you and your Nana are at odds. I will never understand some people’s ambivilence over pets. Poor Nana.
Anti-depressants saved my life when it caused me to get out of my depressed stupor and see that my marriage was killing me.
And why would anyone watch regular tv and sit through the commercials and have to wait for 2-6 minutes of commercials to see what happens next?? Tivo has blessed my life!
I have direct friends and not-so-direct friends and I love them all. The older I get, the more I appreciate having a diverse collection of friends. Yes, I “collect” friends. (No, I don’t)
Direct is refreshing.
By the way, Nana is not direct, she’s a bitch.
When we’ve had enough of the holidays, we try to escape them by going off by ourselves somewhere. Actually, we’ve only been able to pull that off once, but I still can dream about it.
I come from a family of honest, tell-you-like-it-is people. Which is the exact opposite of my SIL’s family. She’s been married to my brother for 11 years and she’s still shocked!
umm..wow. we have unprotected sex now don’t we? How are you sick of protected sex? I gotta go with Usher on this…I don’t want to know…
Yes honey, but I was working with a theme, you see. Also to add to that list: Not wearing a seat belt, eating mostly fried foods and lots of tattoos.
sooo the theme is things you have to do but do not want to and things you want to do but can’t?
P-diddy not Usher:
I don’t wanna know
If your playin me, keep it on the low
Cause my heart can’t take it anymore
And if your creepin, please don’t let it show
Oh baby, I don’t wanna know
be SAFE!
*Public Notice*
#1 has been edited because I am an idiot. I apologize for any problems this has caused.
I feel like I just stepped on the 1st ammendment. PRAVDA!
I thought I had the flu last week – I was sick as a dog and lost 10 lbs in a week. Turns out it was the measles and pneumonia – but still – 10 lbs!? I just should have planned it during a week when my husband was home. So I’m not saying to go do it, but it definitely will work better than Nutrisystems. (And? Free! Minus the doctor copay.)
I’m sure #1 will be fun. We all need a DVR rather than the tv telling us when to watch.
I was going to remind you too that muscle weighs more than flab!!!
I think you have a choice with the whole Nana thing:
1) put it behind you recognizing the behavior for what it is – not for what can ever be ‘fixed’.
2) or confront her which experience tells us is not a recommeded nor an effective choice.
So there you have it – as your uncle would say!
Let’s make Christmas a total kids theme and get into it!!!
Love you!
I want to roll around with this list.
Loving #1 especially (I remember fondly “laying out” all day with ciggies and voddie & Fresca…thank you for giving me something to look forward to again when I’m a granny.)
And I’m with you on 9 and 10.
xoxo jess