Tuesday, May 5th 2009
First of all, let me just say that the swine flu is not funny. No matter how many times I make jokes at its expense, I realize that these are frightening times. I also thank God that there are kind people out there to explain things to me.
On the way to school today, my 9 year old told me a story about the swine flu:
Mom, you know Jason Macantyre in my class?
Yes.
Well, he was absent from school a few days last week because he was sick and he came back yesterday.
Oh?
Yeah, all the kids were asking “Did you have the swine flu?” and he got really upset. Like really, really upset. He was yelling and screaming and crying all over the place….it was kind of crazy.
Wow, that’s sad.
Yeah…but his reaction totally made me think he had the swine flu.
And since we’re speaking of swine, I have a riddle for you.
Who feels more piggish than a pregnant woman at her baby shower?
Answer: No one.
Sunday, the girls and I went to my cousin Meredith’s baby shower brunch. The guest of honor was positively glowing although she thought she was huge and sweaty. As usual, Mere was charming and witty but one day later and she already has a list of people she’d like to send apologies to worked up in her head.
She cringed when I sent her the pictures I took because, as she put it, “I actually TRIED to look nice that day.” She looked more than nice, she was beautiful. Here she is posing with the blanket my mother made for the baby.
And just so she doesn’t hate me for posting her picture, I’m sharing one of myself from my own baby shower almost 10 years ago. As you can tell,
I was so fat I had to hold on to the chair with one hand for support.
If that belly ain’t a bad case of the swine flu, I don’t know what is…
And shut up, I was growing my bangs out…(Yes, I ate the whole cake.)
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I think you both look beautiful!!!
And there isn’t any swine about it???
You guys both look cute! I am a small girl that had a 9lb baby so I can tell you about huge. When I tell people how big he was they say “how in the heck did you have a 9lb baby?” I was huge.
You’re both beautiful.
I remember looking back at the baby shower pictures from my second child and saying “I look like stuck pig!!” Because I had put on a fresh coat of hot pink lipstick before going into the shower thinking it made me look nice.. Oh how wrong I was!!!
You’re so young! Babies having babies!
I have a cold, but am convinced I’ll be the first person to die from swine flu in the US because I thought it was just a cold.
And then I read on Yahoo News that some woman in Texas beat me to it.
Oh my gosh, you’re both so beautiful in these pregnancy pictures. I’ve already ballooned up around forty pounds (or so? It’s been a while since my last visit to the doctor’s scale, and I’m afraid to look at the next weigh-in) and I would KILL to look this fantastic.
Your joke made me smile =P I was hoping to just call the whole baby shower off, but my sisters are sneaky and they won out. So now I’m hosed. I can’t imagine getting any bigger and sweatier than I am now.
Maybe I’ll just go all in pink with a pig nose strapped on. And I’ll oink. And it’ll scare people off because they think I have swine flu. And then I won’t have to worry about the awful pictures.
Think that’ll work?