I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this here (I know I’ve whined about it all over twitter) but I’m back on a fitness kick.
This current phase coupled with an off season of bovinesque lifestyle is cyclical for me. My mother raised me to clean my plate and be a damn fine yo-yo dieter and as always, I want to make her proud. (Not your fault, Mom. We can both blame Nana.)
I’m sure if you want to get technical, I could have been diagnosed with a mild eating disorder (hello, Correctol) at certain points in my life…but hey, that’s everyone, right? However, I really don’t think the term fits me. I mean, the word “disorder” implies that something is wrong. And nothing is wrong with my ability to stuff food into my mouth so I’m going to go ahead and rule that out.
A dieting disorder paired with compulsive self-absorption? Now we’re getting warmer.
I’ve done Jane Fonda. I’ve lost with Weight Watchers. I do Jazzercise. This go round, I went for something totally new to me. I joined a gym.
For the longest time (like 3 televisions seasons), I have been yearning for something, or rather, someone – my own personal Jillian Michaels. I want someone to keep me in check, make me accountable, kick my butt, take no excuses and help me conquer my Wheat Thin addiction. These things cannot be done alone.
When faced with tough menu choices, a motivational shift or the candy aisle, one question rings loud and clear like a dinner bell in my mind.
What Would Jillian Do?
Sometimes the answer is easy…but sometimes not so much.
Doesn’t it make sense to drink all of your liquids out of a measuring cup?
Can I exist on cottage cheese and trail mix alone?
Does a haircut count as weight loss?
You see what I’m talking about here? I need guidance.
I found that guidance and everything else on my checklist at my new gym in the form of Personal Trainer Jen. Perfect. She works me long and hard and I’m already in love with her. Sounds sexy, no? And her name even starts with a J, so my mental WWJD? still flies.
We’ve been working out for almost 3 weeks now and I can already tell quite a difference. Sore arms, sore legs, sore ass, sore shoulders, sore toes, sore fingernails…
Jen and I get along really well. We cuss and sweat and make fun of other worker-outers. It’s awesome. I really couldn’t be happier about my new fitness relationship, that is, except for the jump squats. Those are straight from the devil himself.
When I am doing these ( 3 sets of 12) another thought crashes through my brain..
Man, am I fucked in the head. How am I PAYING someone to make me do this?
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I hate those jump squats with the power of a thousand burning suns. When they add ankle weights I hate them with the power of TWO thousand burning suns.
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Sounds like you’re doing an awesome job!
I love working out w/a trainer; even when he makes me do those damn jump squats.
I always apologize to him at the end of our sessions. He asks why. I tell him it’s for all of the names I was calling him in my head (that I hopefully didn’t actually verbalize) as I was working my butt off.
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I wish you had never mentioned jump squats. Because now I have to try them. And I can tell that I will hate them.
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My sentiments exactly!
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HA! I just started back with my old trainer too. I remember many a push-up where I got flashbacks from my old basketball coaches in high school yelling at us to run “hills” again. I have wondering the same things many time…why am I doing this to myself. Hopefully, in a few months, we’ll both be able to answer (and show the answer) to that question!
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So you are paying someone to make you do those… in front of other people???
I draw the line at jump squats. Crunches, maybe, but no jump squats.
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Meg,
And I’m not afraid to grunt and groan in front of everyone either.
I’m on a fitness kick too, only no gym, no personal trainer and no jump squats. I’m just walking my way to sore thighs and a sore ass around the neighborhood. I still look silly though because I tripped over my own feet right in front of the cute neighbor down the street.
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You are going to look so much better than me at my wedding! I wish I had a Jillian to kick my butt, especially when it comes to wine and empty calories.
Wow! Keep at it girlie if it makes you feel better!
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Oh, we’re like sisters. Can I blame your Nana, too?
Those jump squats would make me pee my pants. But I seriously need some help with training. The whole gym scene (all those machines!) intimidates me, and I know I would feel more accountable if I could work with a trainer.
Keep going!
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Ug… I’m a distance runner so I’m good with the cardio, but the thought of weights makes me want to fall down and foam at the mouth.
I think a trainer (especially a tasty young fellow, perhaps in his mid-twenties) might be just what I need to get motivated.
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Good luck with jen and the fitness kick. I’m wondering how two weeks on the road with book tour of MOOSE is going to be on my thighs…
Stephanie
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Well, when you stop off in VA, give me a call. I’ll book a double session for both of us and then we can go get plastered afterwards. Heh.
Good for you! I couldn’t do the personal trainer thing. I like to be able to lift my arms up to shampoo my hair. And don’t tell me that pain goes away. Because then I’ll feel guilty that I don’t have a personal trainer.
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Ouch. Those look seriously painful.
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