Friday, May 9th 2008
Yesterday, I got all weepy & sentimental, partially due to pms, and cried into my keyboard as I typed about my daughter turning 13. I am now able to label some of those feeling as mourning the loss of childhood as well as the birth of crow’s feet. (Thank you very much Ms. Childless Therapist.)
Today, I’ll giggle as I tell you about the party we threw for her last weekend.
This picture was taken as the guests were still arriving. I had to hide out like the paparazzi on the pool deck because I wasn’t “allowed” to take photographs. As we all see, I did anyway. So there.
We ended up with around 25-30 kids. (Sure, there’s a gray area. What? You expect me to keep track of them ALL?) They played volleyball, soccer and braved the Great Dane booby traps barefooted. Yes, we had quite a few poopie-footed casualties but hey, they were forewarned…and later sprayed off.
As the sun began to set, the group decided to play a round of Hide & Go Seek. Of course, there were a couple of kids that considered themselves extra clever so they opted not to be found. Things got a little dicey there for a bit (I’m not gonna lie. There were tears.) but the girls finally emerged unharmed when my husband went out in “in search” on his ATV armed with a flashlight and his bullhorn. His. Favorite. Part.
By this time, it was just about dark so the kids huddled close to the house and proceeded to scare the ever loving shit out of each other by telling ghost stories and claiming to “see eyes” in the nearby wood line. (Yes, we had a perfectly, pleasantly decorated basement with food and everything INDOORS but they wanted to be outside. What do I know? )
Well, apparently a few of the girls got REALLY scared. Like so scared they called 911. From my backyard.
“Hello?”
“Who am I speaking with?”
“Who AM I speaking with?”
“Ma’am, this is the 911 operator. We just received a call from your premises where children were heard screaming. What’s going on there?”
“Oh, well, you see, um, we’re having my daughter’s 13th birthday party and the kids were outside and I guess they thought they saw something in the woods but it was probably just a deer because, you know, we live in the country out here.”
“Well, I heard a great deal of screaming for help.”
“Help? I think they were just getting themselves all worked up and messing around. They are all back inside now and I can assure you that everything is fine.”
“I’m still going to need to get your information and talk to the sheriff about this. Whether or not we send a squad car will be up to him.”
“Greaaaat. That should coincide nicely with the droves of parents picking up their children.”
“Ma’am?”
“Nothing…sorry.”
Luck was on our side that night because Sherrif Billy Bob Jo Blow (no offense, officer) must not have deemed the screaming 911 call worthy of a drive by.
For that, and garden hoses, (and later, a great, big glass of red wine) I was extremely thankful.
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this makes me even more excited about...
Good Lord, they called 911 from your backyard?
Mental note: make sure my daughter knows what constitutes a 911 worthy emergency.
Allisones last blog post..1
This is the funniest thing I have read in a long time. You almost made me pee into my Carefree.
xoxo
JessicaAPISSs last blog post..Article by APISS in The Washington Post
We did that to my mother once. She did not handle it NEARLY as well as you seem to have. LOL
Miss Britts last blog post..Terrified
You know it’s not really a party until the Sheriff shows up. ‘Member that Jeff Foxworthy video? Party All Night… Well, just in case…here’s the link. Go…cry some more…only from laughter this time. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMLciYHKCXk
DeeJays last blog post..Feels Like It Was Busy…
Too funny. My favorite part is your second to last line to the 911 operator.
*pixie*s last blog post..glory be
I can only hope that we are friends 10 years from now so my children can benefit from your coolness factor. As i was reading, I was thinking, “I would have totally told those kids that the cop was on his way to arrest the false alarm 911 caller.”
I am SUCH a buzz kill. Maybe I SHOULD consider drugs. LOL
mommy needs a cocktails last blog post..Inappropriate usage of mom’s cleavage
I said this earlier but the interwebs ate it.
You know it is not a party until the sheriff shows up. hehehe ‘Member Jeff Foxworthy said that in his video “Party All Night…” Here’s the link for you to giggle at. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VMLciYHKCXk
DeeJays last blog post..Feels Like It Was Busy…
OMG! Did you get the names of the girls who called 911 so you could, um, never invite them over again? That’s ridiculous! Talk about drama queens over-reacting! Your land is so gorgeous! I’m jealous!
Steph.s last blog post..MomCat Reviews: KINZIN - Share Your Memories without the Privacy Risk
I think if I am ever blessed with a girl, the only way to get my husband to participate in a party it to agree to let him drive an ATV with a bullhorn and flashlight.
Maybe I’ll pay participants to get “Lost” for a half-hour to ensure it happens.
And?
The 911 thing totally cracks me up. I know it shouldn’t. It’s all very serious n’ stuff.
And yet, it does anyway.
HEE!
loralees last blog post..Sideblog: Update
Wow sounds like a fun party. I am going to hate it when my kids think I am too uncool to hang with them at their parties, but like you I am learning to be a very good spy. lol
Heidis last blog post..the second mother
I remember those days. This is a very funny post. Thanks for the memories.
Jans last blog post..The Pill
What a cool party! And I mean, at 13, to have the po-pos called out. Well, that’s just da bomb! Congrats on surviving the teen hormones!
InterstellarLasss last blog post..Anniversaries
Hee… I bet the cops drove by anyway and just kept it on the down-low.
I thought birthday parties got quieter when kids got older… I am much disturbed to know that they do not.
Manager Moms last blog post..This Post Was Manufactured With Child Labor
Sounds like the *perfect* TEEN birthday party. They get dicier, you know.
We used to have fabulous parties at home for my own daughter’s birthday - wild Nickleodeon inspired slimy games in the backyard, big cookouts, paddle boat rentals at the local park, homemade and hand decorated cakes. Not so long ago (she’s now 26), she said, “Do you remember my birthday party at Burger King? That was the BEST PARTY EVER.”
WTF? I had always felt guilty for that one, because I thought it was totally lame, last-minute, and way too damn easy.
Jennifers last blog post..1
Too funny great post!
Kelsey Smiths last blog post..1
If my husband had a bullhorn, the neighborhood would never be the same again!
Sounds like you throw one mean party!
Jennis last blog post..Haiku Ouch!
That is very funny. Happy birthday to your daughter. What a beautiful backyard you have…
the mama bird diariess last blog post..dora the explorer needs a stylist