My 12 year old had soccer try outs this week. For 3 days after school, she worked her hardest to make the team.
Last night, after she went to bed exhausted from 3 hours of soccer, the final cut was posted on the school website. My heart sunk as I scrolled for her name.
She didn’t make the team.
Even though I said I would wake her with any news, I let her sleep. At least one of us got some rest. All night, I tossed and turned knowing that I would have to give her this bad wake up call.
She took it well at first and then later, after seeing the list of who made it while she didn’t, the tears came through. I had to talk myself down from crying as I comforted her.
Oh, the internal turmoil of motherhood! Be strong when you feel as though you will crumble along side them. Ugh.
I know this is how we learn and then teach about rejection and the “unfairness” of life but it’s difficult. It’s hard to not get upset about the kids that you know got on the team due to outside influences.
I’m not one of those mothers that will throw my weight around or campaign for my child to make the team, the school play, the Gifted and Talented program…anything. I believe that is doing a disservice. The true benefits of extracurricular activities are those that are achieved organically.
Anything else is just pumping your kid up falsely and keeping them unprepared for how to deal with failure later in life.
My daughter is at school and I am home getting ready for a trip I now feel hesitant to make. I have been lucky enough to be asked to join a group of Mommy Bloggers for a meet up with Katie Couric tomorrow at CBS Studios while I’m in New York City. It’s a brief meeting and we won’t be on television or anything but I’m thrilled down to my french piggies to have the opportunity.
Beside the fact that I adore Katie and always have, I love, love, love New York. And I haven’t been there in way too long.
I feel an incredible amount of guilt in leaving for a fun trip when my daughter has just been thrown a blow. I should be excited as hell but instead I am depressed.
Damn, this motherhood thing is hard. Someone should write a book or something.
Motherhood sure does stink sometimes, but have a fab time in NYC and I can’t wait to hear all about the meet up with Katie!
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I’m so sorry she didn’t make the team; I know she gave it her all… and I know it’s difficult to leave her right now. But, IMO, you should go to New York. It’s been planned, it’s important to you, but even better… it will teach her that the world doesn’t stop spinning because we’re disappointed. Stuff happens, and we grieve it and go on.
Hope you have a great time in the Big Apple…! And hugs to Katie for giving it all she had. She’ll need that tenacity and willingness to jump in with both feet later in life.
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I’m sorry. But you know, kids are made of rubber and she will probably get past it faster than you do, Momma. But I know that heartache and feel for ya.
Still, Have fun in NY! Share scoop on KC!
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Woo! Can’t wait to hear all about your meet-up with Katie!
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But duh, didn’t mean to sound so unsympathetic about your daughter. I’m sorry. That is so tough. But I agree with your approach: no sense in parents intervening, even when it’s truly difficult to see our kids’ disappointment.
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Welcome to the world of middle school athletics.
They umm…. suck.
Go on your trip. Have a great time. I’m sure she’ll be fine.
She’s probably more fine at this point than you are.
Hey - say hi to Katie for me, k?
I’m sooo jealous.
xo
LBC
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I think that you should go to NY too. How often does one get to say they’ve met Katie? I mean really! Plus, I bet your daughter will be proud of her Mom too! Tell your girl to hang in there–kids change so much from early middle school to high school. I played sports too and didn’t get my coordination until about my Jr year of high school!
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Aw man, sorry to hear the news.
Maybe something she likes just as well will come along.
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Oh, man. That totally sucks. My heart breaks for both of you. It wasn’t until I was a parent that I realized that the mama’s heart breaks just as hard when stuff like this happens, if not harder in some cases.
I firmly believe in letting kids face reality and that the world is too full of “Self esteem” concern that almost eliminates healthy competition in schools. HOWEVER…I think I had too much rejection as a kid, though. Kids need to succeed enough in their life that they believe they are deserving, able and worthy enough to succeed and win.
It’s a tough balance.
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SO sorry your DD didn’t make the team. She will be excited for you to have this big opp to meet KC, though. Can’t wait to hear all about it.
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That is tough for her. Perhaps a little treat would help?
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My daughter tried out for cheerleader one year, though she didn’t practice much at all for this try out.
I watched the try outs from the stands and later that evening all of us Moms drove our girls over to see the posted list. Knowing she had not prepared enough I still wanted it for her.
As thought, she didn’t make the squad and I had to watch her try not to cry as she walked out of the girls that were celebrating.
I hugged her and just said that it’s okay, we will practice more next time.
Next time never came and now she has her own daughter.
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that sure sucks royal goose eggs for little girl!!! Damnit! I know how you feel- that’s why I cringe when ever my girlie talks about wanting to get on “All Stars” and every year she doesn’t make-It’s hard-but I bet it would stop her- she tough- I bet she’ll lick her wounds and go forward-
Now, you go lick yours and have fun in NY- Katie!!! that rocks!!
LUCKEEEEEEEE
You know what. I bet you wind up feeling worse about her getting cut than she will in the long run. Kids are wonderfully resiliant. She’ll be disappointed for a while, but she’ll be fine.
Ouch, that’s tough news to hear. Before you know it, though, she will be looking ahead to the next thing and to trying to make the team next year.
Have fun in New York…your trip sounds pretty darn fun.
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I am not looking forward to the middle -school-trying-out -for sports. I’m happy right now to be in SoccerToTs and looking forward to T-ball. But I know it is coming down the road.
Have fun in NYC and GREAT JOB!!!!!!
I’m so pysched for you… you’re using your powers for good
Best of Luck
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That is so cool about Katie, so sucky about your daughter.
I’m so proud your representing us DC Moms.
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Ah, no. And she worked so hard for it!
Rats.
Tell her we’re all bummed too, ‘k?
And I’ve been following your tweets all day … thought you were headed late to BHB! Have a great time and tell us all about it!
You know being one of those kids who tried her hardest to make the drill team I so understand. It’s heart breaking. But you sound way more supportived than my mother.
My heart breaks for your girl. Hugs.
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That really is heartbreaking and hard to deal with is there something else she can get into at the moment.
I have 2 sons and one was on a winning team and went to the championship series over and over again in soccer. The other played on a team that Lost every game. It was very different and like a roller coaster.
Oh yea, I also have a daughter who played soccer too and when she was the goalie she would cry if a goal went into the net. That was hard to deal with too and she only played one year……….she took up dancing and ended up on the dance team in High School. It was great.
We went through the ‘didn’t make the team’ thing back in the fall. Except we had to go up to the school to look at the cut list. Along with all the other kids that tried out. Zed held the tears till we got home.
I don’t like the whole ‘campaigning parents’ thing either, but sadly it seems like that’s the way everything is accomplished these days. Kids need to learn to earn based on merit, not connections. Otherwise they expect everything to be handed to them.
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That’s really sad. I’m sorry, for you and your daughter. I think that’s one of the hardest things about parenting, resisting the urge to protect them from all of the hard knocks. Especially when others go out of their way to play unfairly.
Was Katie cool?
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