You know how sometimes you have too much to drink at a party and say the absolute wrong thing? Like you mock an actor heartily that turns out to be your new acquaintance’s cousin? Or trash talk the food at a restaurant in town that just so happens to be the dream child of your next door neighbor’s mother? Or point out the ugly guy in the corner picking his nose and it turns out to be your newly appointed boss’s husband?
The day after, as the conversations run through your mind, that one, the one that you wish you could scrub out with a Mr. Clean wall eraser, sticks in your head for days. That’s what I call the sticky. On the other hand, the sticky can also just be a remark that is taken too personally or entirely the wrong way. I happen to be really good at performing all of the aforementioned examples on one foot.
Yesterday I had two such experiences. In an odd twist of events, I was not the person laying the quicksand. (Yes, you felt the earth shake as well, didn’t you?)
Last night I subbed for an instructor who needed to be with a sick family member. After a really fun class, or so I thought, one of the women approached me. She thanked me for “kicking her butt” (she’s welcome) and then asked me,
“Did you used to be heavy?”
What in the hell kind of a question is that? I mean..holy shit…is there an overweight girl inside me that she can spot like the little boy in The Sixth Sense?
“I see fat people.”
I wasn’t sure what to say.
“No, thank you???”
What did that mean? Was she just deliberately messing with me as revenge for all those lunges and sit ups? IDK.
Yesterday, I also read something that stuck. Annie wrote about how she’s sick of seeing these poser photographers take self-portraits in nasty bathroom mirrors without a tripod. (You must read the post because my one liner does not suffice.) And her post before that was about the whether or not you are a sell out if you choose to have ads on your blog.
Well, damn.
Now, I love Annie and I’m not bashing her here or anywhere else. What I read made me cringe because she brought to light how judgmental other bloggers can be about each other. I mean, just because I think my heavy camera is sexy as hell (because it is) and I may not know how to use it entirely (or much at all) and may sometimes take pictures of myself in a mirror without a tripod (okay, I don’t even own one) and I happen to have ads on my blog, does that make me some sort of joke to you guys? Really??
Why do you even care?
It’s getting pretty sticky up in here.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
I would think that the woman who made the comment is just an idiot who – believe it or not – probably didn’t think twice about her comment. I, too, am notorious for sticky comments… I think I have elevated it to an art form. We’ll have to compare notes over a cup of tea…
As for your big – very sexy – camera. If you’ve got it, flaunt it, Honey!! I think she is jealous because her camera is tiny and probably no where as sexy.
xo
LBC
Ladybug Crossing’s last blog post..Ringin’ my bell…
I happen to do mirror portraits when I travel. I have a whole series of them:
different cameras, different hairstyles, different amounts of exhaustion.
The mirror provides a consistent thread in a group where such blatant consistency would otherwise be unattainable.
I could also draw conclusions about the “mirror portrait” being a symbolic expression of self image …but I used to BS for a living.
I think the woman that made the comment probably used to be heavy and she felt a connection with you and so she thought it was that. I’m sure she didn’t mean a thing by it.
And as far as the ads go…. when you get your next check then see how bad you feel about it. I’m going to buy myself a big ass camera with my ad revenue.
Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah’s last blog post..Does This Magnadoodle Say What I Think it Says?
Heck, I’ve been doing mirror portraits for… well, forever. I should dig the one out of me before a party back in the 80’s! Funny!
And no, I don’t own a tripod.
As for ads… I’m a capitalist and I like making money. But I’m also a nice capitalist so I like it when other people make money as well. What’s wrong with that?
The ‘heavy’ comment threw me because you have the look of someone who has been skin and bones her entire life. Weird!
pam’s last blog post..Anne Frank is not fiction
so I don’t really get it. if you use a tripod and then take your own picture in the mirror with it, does that make it better??
Who cares what anyone else does on their blog? It’s MY blog and I can put on it what I want to.
Thank you for reminding me to keep an open mind. And I love the mirror pic.
Missy’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday
“does that make me some sort of joke to you guys?”
That’s it. That right there is what I’ve been trying to put into words for months now.
And no, you’re not a joke. When you first responded to a comment I left here I was actually very excited because your blog is very much NOT a joke.
Shit. That last part is going to be a sticky for me, I just know it.
Miss Britt’s last blog post..What Would Dorothy Do
Did you slap the lady at the gym who asked if you used to be heavy? What an idiotic thing to say!
Which brings me to the other idiotic things. I read those two posts, and all the comments. So she basically hates bloggers who put ads on their blogs (that’d be me too, I Heart BlogHer!) and she hates bloggers who take photos of themselves in mirrors …. BUT YOU ARE EXEMPT FROM THAT HATRED because she likes you. Huh? What? You can’t write that on your blog and not expect people to be offended. FYI: If you don’t have something nice to blog about, you shouldn’t blog about anything at all.
And what am I doing with my ad revenue? Well … there’s this place in Florida, you may have heard of it, Disney World! Yeah, I’m saving up for Disney.
indigo’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday: If you eat lunch outside you might have an unexpected guest
People say the craziest things. Pay her no attention. Once I worked in radio. After a live remote, a woman came up to me and said she was so surprised how I looked because on the radio I sounded like a “short fat brunette.” I mean, c’mon, how does that sound?
As for the ads…I feel about them the way I feel about women with great cleavage. It you got ‘em, flaunt em. If you have the readership to make the ads worthwhile, then go for it! Doesn’t bother me in the least.
Diane Mandy’s last blog post..Footless and fancy free
It seems I’ve made “the sticky”. I guess I am judgmental. Not always about other bloggers. Just people in general, ha-ha!
Aren’t we all? And by “Aren’t we all” I mean that not simply as a rhetorical question, I mean genuinely, I’m curious; aren’t we?
My blog was originally to be a “concept” blog about things that irritate me, so yeah, I say it. I’m not obligated to say that since certain thing irritates me, therefore, Kimberly MUST irritate me.
Like I said, you don’t make every other post a pic of yourself in the mirror, and ads or not, what I like about your blog is that you “Keep it real”.
annie’s last blog post..I Don’t Want Your Photograph
Oh, and I just had to say, I don’t “hate those bloggers”. I just find certain things irritating. It doesn’t mean I HATE those people. That would be irrational.
annie’s last blog post..I Don’t Want Your Photograph
I got the camera, but, damn if I know how to get a decent picture in the mirror, anyway.
Ads, whatever. I have them. Some people don’t. People expend WAY too much energy thinking about them.
Annie didn’t say this, but, I don’t get why some people think that bloggers have some sort of moral obligation (sell out!) that precludes ads on a blog.
Busy Mom’s last blog post..The Impossible Quiz
Wonder why it’s showing my last blog post as January 8th? Weird.
Busy Mom’s last blog post..The Impossible Quiz
Some can be very judgemental.
Jean-Luc Picard’s last blog post..Star Trip (Part Two)
I love you no matter what.
I just had a day from hell too and I am feeling like everyone is.
Hang in there !
You certainly asked the right question: “Why do you even care?”
There are a lot of situations where that question is very appropriate.
Old Horsetail Snake’s last blog post..Fee Fie Fo Fum, I Smell Something
I’ve been the inadvertent asshat AND taken things very personally.
How can you not take some of these comments personally?
Having weighed 280 in my life I make ZERO assumption about anyone regarding weight…both fat or thin, flabby or toned. It’s a very personal issue, so I just don’t go there.
As for the other comments…As a blogger, maybe she doesn’t care that she is offending her readership (There are those out there) but I personally find bashing the habits of other bloggers far more offensive than having ad space or taking a photo in a bathroom.
And sorry, but some of us don’t have a tripod stuck to our bodies at all times.
And? About the ads?
I choose not to write for free, thanks.
She can have her ad-free space and I can enjoy a vacation to San Fransico to go to BlogHer.
Loralee’s last blog post..Sideblog: Jimmy Kimmel gets his revenge on Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon
P.S.
I have whiplash and it’s that time of the months. I’m in a pretty hideous mood, so that comment may have been a bit brash.
Loralee’s last blog post..Sideblog: Jimmy Kimmel gets his revenge on Sarah Silverman and Matt Damon
I personally don’t give a crap if people take pictures of themselves with tripods or without. In fact, I rather like it when people don’t try to make everything perfect. I also like the glimpses into people’s houses and bathrooms and bedrooms and such. Oh, and I don’t mind ads either. Just call me Miz Tolerant.
Miz S’s last blog post..Random Random Bo Bandom.
I have only ever taken one pic of myself in the mirror… never again. It’s not just because it took forever getting the lighting right… But standing in front of a mirror for that long was extremely uncomfortable.
Bec’s last blog post..Did the Earth Move For You?
1. This was hysterical.
2. You look hot in your photo, so I’d be worried about having it posted on the internet and a whole lot of weirdos visiting your site now.
3. I think my heavy camera is sexy too. And I love the click that it makes when I take a shot.
4. Is that a tatoo on your wrist or the list of items you need to pick up at the grocery store??
5. I don’t care if you have ads on your site. I usually read you in Google Reader anyway!
catherine ryan’s last blog post..Tao Te Ching: Verse 16
When I first started blogging several years ago there was a lot of hoopla about bloggers using ads and talk about how they were sell outs. I always wondered why it was such a turn off to people. Anyway, when blogher ads became available to everyone and I started seeing them everywhere I thought all that anit-advertisement stuff had died–I guess not.
I love BlogHer. I get paid–it may not be much but I actually get paid and that helps pay for my hosting bill. So yeah. I have ads.
Sleeping Mommy’s last blog post..Wrapping up loose ends
1. I love you.
2. This is actually a pic from the summer that I had previously posted. I find nothing wrong with the whole deal…obviously.
3. I hear you, sister. The YUM my camera gives me is unsurpassed on many levels.
4. A henna that I was trying out – loved it but have not yet gotten up the guts to add a wristie to my tat collection (of one).
5. If as a society, we can’t yet see past the ads to the content…who are we and what have we learned?
The wrist tattoo is not painful. I got the butterfly last July (I don’t remember if you saw it in Chicago) but it was the least painful tatty I have.
And your blog is no joke.
I wouldn’t worry about it. Reminds me of the time I bought new glasses and my sister in-law got sticky by asking if I liked them.
Why the heck else would I have bought them?
Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..I?m Letting it All Hang Out
I am a walking version of “The Sticky” because I generally lack a filter when I am around other people. And on top of it, I tend to go over and over things in my head afterwards because I’m neurotic.
As for the blogging thing, I will never understand why people point those things out. So am I not supposed to take photos of myself in the bathroom, even though I live BY MYSELF? And I have a point and shoot which, who gets a tripod for that? And if you could see the size of my bathroom. I don’t understand why people have to be so judgmental. It’s a blog for Pete’s sake!
Kristabella’s last blog post..The Great Interview Experiment
Well, I love you no matter what, darlin’.
I think people just get a little judgmental on their blogs sometimes because it is their safe place to vent. They forget to think about who they may be inadvertently bashing.
Heather’s last blog post..seven
Well, since I’m a contributer to the self portrait challenge website, I have pictures with and without tripods – in and out of bathrooms. I like both of them – and I like seeing them, self portraits are a valid form of artistic expression. I don’t spam people with them, so… ?? I think this is a really interesting picture of you – I actually like to see how people look at themselves.
Some people are very. judgmental.
I wouldn’t worry about the BlogHer ads – you aren’t… are you? Seriously.. there are ads where they try to get you to put their words in your posts for search engine indexing – THAT is selling out to a certain extent. come on.
we want to go on a field trip, give me a shout if you want to join.
xo
and I’ve weighed more than 200 pounds before, so obviously the workout lady’s fatdar is off. I bet you said something that made her think that. Maybe you’re not as secure in your skin as you should be?
holli’s last blog post..March Madness Giveaway – week 1.
“Maybe you’re not as secure in your skin as you should be?” Ummm, hello? Are you inside my head? You are very right. I am a freak about fat.
And I do want in on the field trip. Pretty please
[...] seeing a trend here. Maybe I should just get the damn tattoo… What do you think? Share it: If you enjoyed this [...]
like the pic, the post is great, love you