The movie was stellar. My butchered rendition of the birds and the bees, not so much.
There we were in the movie theater parking lot and tears were welling up in her eyes. The friend that my 12 year old planned to meet there texted at the last minute and canceled out. What could I do? I said to hell with the list of errands I had planned to take care of during the 91 minute flick and offered myself as a sub.
I’ll go with you, if you want.
Umm, okay.
I’m your best friend anyway. (That was a joke. I said it to make her laugh and it worked.)
The movie of choice was Juno and although I’ve heard good things, I had no idea what it was about. The movie started off with a girl taking off her underwear. Not kidding.
Opening scene: girl takes off panties and mounts boy in fuzzy armchair.
After giving myself the Heimlich on the chair in front of me to remove popcorn that lodged itself in my esophagus, I stage-whispered to my virgin daughter,
Are you serious? You took me to see a porno?
The movie was quite compelling, actually. Heartwarming, hilarious, witty and real enough to sting anyone who is or has a daughter. I cried until I thought my head would break open because I was trying so hard sniffle silently. And holy shit, was it funny. But the compelling part was what threw me for a mother loop.
After watching a movie with your almost 13 year old daughter about a 16 year old who has sex and ends up pregnant, you are quite compelled. Compelled to explain the gazillion and one reasons why this is not a good idea. Why it’s never as cool as it looks in the movies and why most girls don’t wind up happily ever after strumming their guitar post teenage pregnancy. Compelled to explain the birds and the bees and condoms and birth control and AIDS. Compelled to take thee to a nunnery!
Damn you, Juno! I was not prepared for this Sunday night. I was the stammering, sweating idiot driving home on I-66 who made no sense as I verbally worked my way through the sea of sexual activity with my horrified daughter. Why couldn’t it have been like when I was a kid and I spied my cat having sex in the back yard? It all made perfect sense that way.
Oh God…I probably scarred her for life. And all I was trying to do was be a good mom.
Cross posted @ DC Metro Moms
ermmm….ummm….I think it is a good thing the friend canceled and you went to see it with her.
I can’t believe how advanced kids are these days!
Just wait….tee hee
When they hit late teens they will be telling you things you have never heard of and you will be grabbing the pen and paper…lol
Happy New Year!
Huggles and Love,
Raggedy
Raggedy’s last blog post..Shlomo Artzi
Ummm… I think we will be skipping that movie…
Thanks for the head’s up!
BTW: I am sure you did fine with your bird and the bees…
xo
LBC
Ladybug Crossing’s last blog post..Paying Attention…
I think it is AWESOME that you two went and saw that together. That one single activity together will make her feel SO MUCH easier coming to you about things and will stick with her forever….and THAT is so important. Keep the communication that started going…
My mom was NOT a communicator and did not talk to us about stuff and damn we could have used her. I won’t tell you where I was at at 13. I talk to Kaiden about everything and always will.
You are a great mom! It’s awesome that you would put off what you wanted to do to hang out with you daughter.
And, by the way, those kinds of talks are hard on everyone- parents and kids, but kudos to you for making the effort. After explaining the..um, “mechanics” to me and my horrified little sister, the only other thing that my repressed, Catholic mom ever said to me was “…and it’s bad”. End of discussion.
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I found your blog through Angie, but I had to comment about Juno. I thought it was a funny movie, but not being a mom your blog made me laugh when you got unexpectedly pushed into the birds and bees talk!
Jennifer’s last blog post..WW Meeting
Better that you stammer your way through it than her only concept be from books or movies. Good job, Kim. She will never forget it and one day will be very thnakful she has a mother who would even try to tell her what she needed to know. Kudos to you, my dear friend!
Feeling your pain.
I recently had to explain menstruation to my ten year old son.
Which is why I giggled the entire way through this post.
Misery loves company….
Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..Letter to My Dog
My 14-year-old asked to go see Juno, this weekend — on the way to the ped’s office for about the bazillionth time — and…um…that pretty much answers HER question.
“No, because I don’t know how to do the Heimlich!”
Liz’s last blog post..In which I remember 2007, sort of.
I woke up cursing the unending amounts of diapers I am going to have to change today. I read your post and now I am grateful that my daughter is still in diapers and has no clue what a vagina or pregnancy is yet!
Sorry you got sideswiped by this one. It’s been getting tons of good press out here & I’m so happy it’s made it to mainstream theaters cause we’re totally going to go see it. We being a bunch of adults, who already have kids and if any of them need “the talk” I’m not volunteering.
BUT, as akward as I’m sure it was hopefully your daughter knows she can come talk to you about this stuff no matter what. Better you than her friends giving her misinformation, right?
My oldest is only 4 so we don’t have to go through this for a while (at least a year right? kidding, omg kidding!) But last year a lot of questions about mechanics started coming up. DD1 is smart enough to sense when you’re BSing her and will go around asking everyone to see if she gets the same answer. Knowing this, I got an age appropriate book. When these questions come up I say, “Let’s get the book”. (I don’t want to give her more info than she needs at this age.) This book has 3 levels for various ages and my hope is that this conversation will be moot by age 13 because it will be a topic that’s been covered from various angles at various times.
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Wow, I had no idea that Juno was so old. 16 really. My daughter has a 14 year old friend, yes 14, who has a baby about 6 moths old. Do the math out there all you mommas. I have preached condoms to my kids since puberty. Not only can your first time get you a killer disease but a little bundle of joy to carry on your hip, now take you dolly and toy cars and go play.
Paige’s last blog post..I made the papers…
My mom used to deliberately watch movies like this with me just to expose me to things she felt we needed to talk about. Then she would sit there and say things like, “do you have any questions?” or “You better ask me, I don’t want you getting your information on the playground at school.”
Sleeping Mommy’s last blog post..Possibilities
Was was the film suitable for a girl her age? It sounds like it was for an older audience. Still, you did well, and it might have been tough for your daughter as well.
Jean-Luc Picard’s last blog post..Picard’s Driving Test
I saw the trailer for Juno & want to go see it! It WAS really cool for you to go with your daughter to see it! There is NO reason not to let a kid know that you love them and want to make sure they won’t make stupid mistakes like early pregnancy, drugs, drinking etc… I never say don’t because that is just as likely to drive them TO do it. Show them what happens to kids who do these things and you’ll Never need to repeat it!
Ha-ha-ha! Sorry.
Really, lady, where’ve you been? It’s had commercials plastered all over TV so I basically knew what it’s about. I heard it’s good, and funny, too.
So, it’s rated PG-13 and like it or not, parents, your kids might get dropped off to see another movie at the cinama-plex and change their mind and see this one. I think it’s great and was a stroke of luck that her friend couldn’t make it. Maybe mom’s should just plan on seeing this one with their kids.
annie’s last blog post..Bullet Observations and Pledges for the New Year:
Yeah, I think Zed won’t be watching this one. He has asked to see The Great Debaters. I would much rather explain the mechanics of a debate than the mechanics of sex to him. I think he knows more than he lets on. We’ve explained the basics to him, and I think he’s starting to put that together with what he hears at school. It may be time for another talk. There are three hairs under his right arm pit (he announced this at dinner the other night) and he’s got a dirt spot on either side of his lip that won’t go away.
InterstellarLass’s last blog post..Bittersweet Surprises
I think this opened a big door for you daughter in that she will feel comfortable talking to you as she grows and encounters these topics more in real life. As uncomfortable as it can be sometime talking to our children about this, knowledge really is power.
Robin’s last blog post..Christmas Trees
Somehow I think it was one of those ‘planned’ moments - not necessarily planned by you or your sweet one. We don’t usuallyl plan the time or place for the ‘big’ talk - when an opportunity comes your way you take it - just like with the cats.
I’m sure you did fine and it will be one of those days she will keep close to her heart forever - and you will laugh about it together when she’s a mother and faces the same moment.
I wish I had been there to see you sweat that one. Well, at least it is out there and it can be a starting place for many conversations to come. I bet you were great!
I think it was a good thing you ended up seeing it with her instead of her friend. (Though the opening scene would have made me sooo uncomfortable.)
I’ve seen the trailer for Juno and thought it looked so funny and touching.
Anyway - you’re a good mama for explaining it all. At 12 years old she’s long overdue to know it all, pretty much. If you don’t tell her, she’ll find out on her own
Good job
Tee’s last blog post..I not feels so good
Juno was amazing. i love a movie that can make me pee my pants from laughing so hard AND make me cry like a baby
ali’s last blog post..ugly bridesmaid dresses happen to good people
The only movie my dad and I ever saw together was Porky’s. I was 12 and didn’t know what it was about. During the oral sex scene I cringed…so did he.
Value wIT’s last blog post..Don’t Be That Girl (or That Girl’s Dad)
I’ll add to the others who said it is a good thing the two of you saw it together. I definitely agree.
I think we can all agree that me sitting thru Boogie Nights with my mother and my husband and watching it at HOME was not a good thing.
I really want to see this movie, apparently it’s quite good. And even though I’m 22, if I did go to see it with my Mum, I can bet that she would have the exact same reaction as you did - including the awkwardness of the birds and the bees story on the ride home!
Katie’s last blog post..The One Where I Get A Little More Personal
I think that almost-13 is a perfect time to watch this movie. I am a firm believer that kids should know everything about sex by that age - because I started having sex in my early teens just because no one had ever told me anything about it. A little information would have prevented me from becoming sexually active.
Suebob’s last blog post..Just when you thought I couldn’t get more California
Hmm. Maybe I’ll take Busy Boy to see it.
No time like the present to figure out what he knows and doesn’t know.
Busy Mom’s last blog post..The Impossible Quiz
Ha - you are so funny! I wanted to see this movie but my tween (when is yours 13 by the way?…ours is in April though she acts like she is 19 already!!!!) beat me to it and saw it with her friends. She loved it and has got the soundtrack on her iPod already! Who are these children of ours?
As for our birds and bees chats, we have been having them for years as there always seems to be an opportunity with four wretched daughters!
We will be through this….we will get through this…..we will get through this….
Happy New Year anyway - I haven’t stopped by for ages and I have missed you! An excellent post.
xxx
Tori’s last blog post..Children say the wierdest things….
I’m so glad you were with her instead of her friend!
OMG. I have seen it and know the scene. I can’t imagine watching that with your daughter. OMG.
Oh, The Joys’s last blog post..Patchwork
My 14yo daughter asked to go with a couple of her friends this weekend, and I said OK, usually I check what a movie is about, and when I saw the PG13 rating, I thought it would be fine. When I picked her up, I asked her what the movie was about, and my mouth must have looked like it dropped. With the spotlight on Jaime Spears about teen pregnancy, and my daughter and I just had an open talk about this, that I was surprised to know, now there is a movie about it (not Jaime, yet I’m sure), but I am surprised how much more casual and open our society has become about it all.
I’m glad that you were able to go with your daughter, I wished I would have gone with mine, but I’m glad to know what my daughter thinks about the birds and the bees.
Christine’s last blog post..Back to School Update
I tried to have the sex talk with my teenage boys a few years ago. I too was a stuttering idiot. I was all birds and bees and um, well, um. Yeah, by the end of the conversation they were so ready to get out of the room, I’ve never seen them run so fast. I told them if they have any more questions to ask their dad.
Christine’s last blog post..Christmas is officially over
I want to see this movie SO badly.
And thank God you were with her - can you imagine if she’d just seen it with her 12 year old friend??
Miss Britt’s last blog post..the meeting that changed everything
Nice insight..
However, try not to traumatize your kid about “loving”.
My mother was so terrified that i would make love, and would scare me so much about it, that now at 30yo, after being a virgin until 21, i havent felt anything good…so I basically hate making love and I can’t have a normal relationship.
Moms have great influence in their kids..and as you might prevent her for doing something stupid, you might also be preventing her for enjoying something really nice that someday she’ll be old enough to happily do it.
I watched Juno last week. Sorry to say even people say it’s good, I still can’t help thinking “gee, how easy someone take big matter like that.”
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