Here’s a perfect example of what NOT to give me this holiday or any damn day for that matter. How do you say Merry Christmas any sweeter than sending me something that I have to murder?
I honestly had tears in my eyes when we opened the box and their little claws reached for salvation. We thought about setting them free but knew they were as good as dead out in the yard with the Danes.
After the shock and horror partially wore off that we were going to have to KILL these poor, suffering lobsters, I got mad. What the hell? Do you know how many dishes I am going to have to wash to make this happen? And then we saw the note…
Dear Santa,
Please excuse my daughters if they throw the term “mother f*cking bastard” around in the next few days. They know not what they say.
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Agh! That’s why I’m a vegetarian. Have you heard the squealing? “They” say it is not really squealing…..just the air (steam?) escaping from their little shells…but still. Ack.
Um…enjoy?
mel from freak parade’s last blog post..The Great Debate?Finally Some Results!
Oh my goodness - did you ASK for them? He didn’t just randomly drop them off at your doorstep? The poor things - I know we kill cows and stuff to eat but lobsters are just so … lobstery. And I’d never be able to kill something myself! I would have probably gone down to the closest water place and let them go - even if they’d died out there, it’s gotta be better than being boiled alive and I can live in the fantasy that they might have survived and lived a long and fulfilling life!
Katie’s last blog post..I Memed to Do It Earlier But Forgot
I am sorry to laugh but it really is funny - don’t be mad …
ROTFL!!
Next time, call me. I’ll come over and cook them for you. As a matter of fact, I won’t even charge my usual fee of one whole lobster… I’ll take a claw and some butter and be happy.
xo
LBC
Ladybug Crossing’s last blog post..The Last Big Blast
LMAO!
Hope they’re tasty!
Marie’s last blog post..Run, run! As fast as you can…
I would have run to the kitchen and started clarifying the butter ASAP! Yummy!
Speechless … I don’t have anything against eating lobster, but I would be appropriately horrified to receive them in a box as a gift.
Lizzi’s last blog post..Soldier Sunday #6
How can anyone match such a ‘thoughtful’ gift. He’s got a very sinister sense of humor! What did you DO with them? That’s the big question.
Someone has a very sick sense of humour.
Happy Christmas!
Jean-Luc Picard’s last blog post..TWQ: Unwanted Presents
I am still laughing…. I would have cooked them for you too, but not without a grimmace or two as I put them in the pot… just cuz I had to touch them LOL!
Enjoy them and Merry Christmas!!
I’d vote for the buttery two step, steam em and dip em, because Lobsters love to do the butter Lambada.
On the other hand, you could drive them to the C. Bay release them to start your own MD LobstaH colony.
Hope you have a Merry Maryland Christmas!
Oh my. That is horrifying and funny all that the same time. I adore lobster, but killing it myself is too ghoulish too contemplate. I did laugh at the note though.
Blog Antagonist’s last blog post..Snicker
*chuckle* That’s a very special friend you have there, with a quite special sense of humor. Not to mention spending a pretty penny on that gift.
Their screams are creepy.
cat’s last blog post..yule
I would’ve gotten my husband to do it. He doesn’t care, he worked in Alaska on those fishing boats (as a Scientist, not a crew hand) for several years, so they did that stuff to the crabs constantly. He’ll also crack & clean all my crab for me, now you know why I married him. ;-)
Me, I would’ve been a vegatarian if I had to kill all my own food.
mama speak’s last blog post..Clear Cake People (aka—1000 Marbles)
Oh Dear! I would find that really upsetting, myself! Thank God, no one has EVER given my live lobsters! LOL!
I hope you have a splendid Christmas with lots of Cheer!
OldOldLady Of The Hills’s last blog post..christmas cheer is here!
ACK! NO! That’s a bad thing to do to someone. Poor widdle wobsters.
Miz S’s last blog post..With Gay Abandon
OMG, I LOVE Lobster, it’s my absolute favorite! I don’t cook them, though, I remember my mom doing it and their little antenna waving as they stood in the pot made me sad.
Doesn’t stop me from paying $50 bucks a plate every time I go to the coast though.
annie’s last blog post..It’s a Christmas Miracle
I completely understand. I stopped eating lobster for this very reason.
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I’m sure they’ve gone onto greener pastures by now but they don’t ALWAYS squeal.
We generally pick them up and say things like “I can’t wait to be your supper” and “I could use a nice hot bath right about now”…
Sick, isn’t it?
Sick but so SO delicious.
jenny’s last blog post..Other places I’ve been
We tried making lobster our traditional Christmas meal a few years ago, but were back this year to the easier and less dramatic and traumatic Roast Beef.
I could never boil the lobsters myself. I’m a wimp.
Whoa, that is crazy. I’m sure they meant well, but I couldn’t deal with that stuff either.
But, were they good?
Friglet’s last blog post..Magic
In reading these comments, it just makes me wonder if I have indeed become one of those crazy tree-huggers because I am sitting here crying looking at this and I don’t understand why everyone thinks it is so funny.
They were alive, and you put them into boiling water? You boiled them alive?
I know they are just crustaceans or whatever, but how do any of us know they can’t feel that? Don’t they have pain receptors in their little brains?
poe’s last blog post..In The Rear View Mirror - 2007
I totally admit to LOVING lobster, but I just do not think I could cook them.
I realize that makes me eleventyhundred shades of hypocritical “Pot calling the kettle black”, but I think I would freak out.
I think that you should send that person a crate of cow pies next year with a note that says “I hope it doesn’t smell too crappy!”
(I love playing out scenarios of fantasy revenge in my head. You’ll have to forgive me.)
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