Most days I have a constant movie or sitcom going on in my head… and yes, I am the star.
Once again I’m in the grocery store. I was reading about poor Britney when the conversation in front of me made my bionic ear start to twitch. I moved my hair (like Jamie) to get a better listen.
Old Man: I think I come in here every Sunday and I’ve never seen it this packed.
Cashier: I’m here Sundays too. Today has been really busy for some reason.
Old Man: Well, see you next week.
Cashier: I’ll be in New York next weekend.
Old Man: Oh yeah? Looking at more schools?
Cashier: An acting school in the city.
(My ear began to throb)
Old Man: Well, hopefully I’ll see you on stage someday.
Young 17 year old misguided cashier: Hopefully in films.
Old Man: What school is it?
Baby-faced child in the smock with her whole life in front of her: AMDA
(My stomach flipped)
My daughter: Mommy, Mommy, isn’t that where you went to college?
Me: Shhh, yes, but it wasn’t a college.
My 8 year old who never learned to use her inside voice: YOU NEVER WENT TO COLLEGE???
Me: Oh Jesus…
Cashier: You went to AMDA?
Me (trying to look busy sorting my cold items) : Umm, yes. I went there.
Cashier: How was it? Did you like it? What have you done? Film? Theater? Wait…why are you here?
Me (about to start bagging my own groceries) : I’m sorry?
Cashier (realizing that I’m not the success story she’s hoping for) : What are you doing way out here in Virginia?
Me: (wondering whether she’s looking at my crows feet or my non-glamorous sweatpants and kids in tow) : Um…I’m grocery shopping.
Yes, I know that’s not the answer she was looking for but I was trying to hold my tongue. I was inches away from tears or sounding off like an old lady.
DON’T RUIN YOUR LIFE! GO TO COLLEGE LITTLE GIRL!!
But I kept mum.
Fast forward two days and my girls and I are finishing up our lunch at Uno’s in the mall. I asked the waitress (a 30 something lady who was attractive somewhere underneath a million layers of makeup) for the check. As she dropped it off and began to wipe down the nearby table, she turned back around and paused.
She looked from one girl to the other and said, “Whatever you do, go to college right after high school.” And then she just walked away.
We all sat quietly for a moment and then I asked, “Do you know why she said that?”
“Yes”, my 12 year old said. “She’s old and she’s a waitress. She never went to college so she can’t get a good job.”
Damn.
I wanted to thank her but she was gone. All I could do was leave a good tip. Hell, she sure gave us one.
It didn’t take long for it to dawn on me that I had missed my chance. The universe, God or whatever offered me an opportunity to help someone and I blew it. The waitress came through on hers while I was too scared of admitting my own failures to warn the cashier about what could be the biggest mistake of her life.
You think it’s a coincidence, don’t you?
It’s not.
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But if you had told her and she didn’t go, she’d wonder her whole life, what would have happened if……
I know you. You are a risk taker. You win some, you lose some, and you have won quite lot in life.
You most certainly did not ruin her life….because she probably would not have heeded your advice anyway. You remember what it is like to be that girl, right? A new “adult”…knowing everything…..huge dreams, untainted by reality.
Would you have heeded the same advice if it was given? Probably not, right….Or was it just me?
The above comments couldn’t have said it better.
My son went to college and my daughter didn’t…..she makes more then him and they are both working with mutual funds. College isn’t for everyone anyhow. It is all about life lessons, not about what lessons life….. if that be the case.
As you know, college isn’t the key to success. I have a degree and numerous wasted credits in grad school. Me, who took the way I thought would prove success (college) wished I could have taken a risk, followed a dream. I work everyday and struggle everyday. I would not have said anything to the cashier either. She may be successful one day in acting, who knows. I would hate to be the one to squash someones hopes and dreams. Or be the one who the cashier says what if I had followed my dream. I applaud people who go out on a limb, as I applauded you.
The good news is, you will need groceries again some day, maybe even soon, and you’ll probably get another chance.
I’m learning that eventhough I can see the impending (perceived) train wreck of someone close to me, advising her to avoid the collision isn’t the best thing for her. She has to make the mistake, to chase the elusive, in order to learn the hard lesson. And there will be losses, there already are…but maybe fewer regrets.
Wow. This is a really powerful entry. I have to ask though, do you really think you ruined your life? That’s how it sounds to this reader. I’ve always had the impression that you are quite successful. You are an awesome mom and have a lovely family and home. That’s success if I ever saw it.
Remember, everything happens for a reason–including the choices we make. It’s all growth.
Synchronicity, babe!
Encouraging your girls to go to college is not the same as telling another young girl NOT to follow her dreams.
It’s a rare thing to have dreams like that. And an even more rare thing to have the guts to follow them – win or lose.
{{{hugs}}} Did you have fun at AMDA? Did you get to do fun things? Did you learn a lot and meet wonderful people? Okay then.
I know a man who started college. Left college. Went back to college and did well. Never worked in his field. In fact, hardly ever worked again after graduation. He just wanted to get a college degree. I married him. I would have married him without the degree. He has a much harder job than me….he takes care of me and Shortman. Every day.
{{{hugs again}}}
You didn’t ruin her life! Besides, if you would have told her not to go, then she might work at the grocery store forever (not that there is anything wrong with working at a grocery store) and then she would have never known if she was really missing out by going to AMDA.
That’s true; she would not have listened to you. It’s your daughter you want in college!
Life lessons. We all have to learn them. Teaching them to your daughters is what counts.
Hmmm. I have to think about this one. But I hear you, honey.
If I didn’t know what the waitresses that work around here make (read: more than me, in two days), I could agree more easily.
I guess I’m more of the mind it’s the big picture stuff that matters in the end, not who our employer was.
I’m guilty of it, though, hoping that the girls head off to my alma mater, even if I have to wait tables to pay to get them there.
What’s wrong with AMDA? I would have liked to do something like that but my parents quashed that. So I rebelled and took a totally different path in life and didn’t go back to college until I was much older.
Some people aren’t cut out to be a doctor or a lawyer or a nurse or whatever. Different people have different dreams and they should be encouraged, as long as they have SOMETHING that motivates them.
It’s hard to know what to do sometimes. But you aren’t responsible for anyone but yourself and your family.
Life is what you make of it
I don’t know what that waitress’ story is, but I’m a firm believer in the power of a person who is unhappy to improve his or her situation.. it may not be easy, and many people will need support from family and friends while working towards that goal, but I think everyone has that power!
Who knows, maybe she’s just bitter, lol, and that’s just a whole different story.
… maybe that cashier will be a famous actress one day, maybe not, and maybe she’ll go to college, and maybe she won’t, but I don’t think you ruined her life. You’re not responsible for her, her dreams, or her goals.
Happy Friday!
I guess I’ll be the antagonist today. I didn’t go to college until I was 30. It was right for me to delay. I was ready at 30 and not before. I loved it and I did well. Exremely well. Had I gone right after high school it would have been a total waste. Also, a lot of people have college degrees, people who got them early in life and they don’t have jobs, let alone great jobs. College is great, I fully endorse it, but there are many routes not only to employment and enlightment in life and college is just one of them. Having said that, I will be “encouraging” my kiddo towards college.
Continuing education – be it college or music school or drama school or acting school or cooking school – it is all good. I have friends that went to cooking school and are doing fantastic. I have friends that went to art school – they are doing what they love. It’s all about passion – finding your passion… figuring out what you love and doing it.
I should have gone to music school… Instead I got a degree in business, 28 credits towards an MBA (yes I know I only have one class left to finish, but I’m not doing it) and then education… One could say I’m highly educated, but so what?
I am happiest when I’m home with the children. Some people call my education a waste. I don’t. Every experience helps shape us into the people we are.
That said, I want to be a kept woman in my old age, so I’m being totally selfish and pushing the children towards college… Because, in reality, it’s all about me and my needs. (You know I’m kidding, right?)
Hugs
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Š from
Have a wonderful weekend!
*^_^
(=’:'=) huggles
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the Cool Raggedy one
It wouldn’t have really mattered what you said. Don’t you remember what it’s like when you’re that young and you think you know everything?
Ah, but that young cashier will have to learn her own lessons the hard way too.
You’re sweet to want to help her.
You could always go shopping again, and this time, make your chance instead of stumbling onto it. Surely she works other days besides sundays, right?
If it bothers you, do something about it.
I forwarded your posting (and the AMDA link) to my 16-year-old, Broadway-bound-and-determined daughter.
Heaven help us!
One more thing.
If that waitress really wants to go to college she can. There’s always a way.
I think it’s self-defeating to think that there is only one time in life to get the eduction that you want. She needs to think outside the box.
(This coming from Ms. Perpetual Student.)
One of the best blog posts evah!
Muah!
Good for the waitress to get her point across, and good for your girls to get it, but like others said, college isn’t for everyone! I’ve got a bachelor of arts degree and am working as a secretary, my husband has an associates and is a police officer… he makes plenty more money than I do, with less schooling. I do agree that furthering your education is good for lots of people, but not everyone… don’t worry about not telling the cashier your thoughts, she’s at the age that she probably won’t listen anyway. Sometimes you have to learn from your own mistakes…
My aunt skipped out of high school, moved to New York for an acting career, which never took off but she is close to 80 now and has written 5 books. She’s a great writer.