We all want our children to be better than ourselves. It’s the natural progression of parenthood. You dump all of your knowledge and life experience into your child’s empty head, mix that with what they came to the table with as unique humans created by two of the coolest people you know and BAM! - you expect them to be you to the 3rd power.

Don’t make the same mistakes I did. Why? Because I’ve already learned that lesson for you. Do as I say not as I do. Why? Because I said so. Don’t make me say it again.

My 12 year old is already better than me (Sshhhhhh! Don’t tell her or I will lose all my power). At her age, I was fairly smart but she is bright and focused. I lived in Boy Crazy La La Land while she is still here at home with me. I wanted to grow up yesterday while she’s content to be a kid. Neither of us are perfect but right now she’s winning. If this keeps up, I’m going to ask her raise me once she’s grown.

At the dentist’s office last week, I received further proof of my daughter’s good breeding. The hygienist came in with her panoramic x-ray looking very excited.

“What do you think, Mom?”
“Nice x-ray. No cavities?”
“No, no cavities. Do you notice anything else? Anything missing?”
“Ummmm, no. Looks like a pretty skeleton head to me.”
“She does not have her upper wisdom teeth!”
“Wow. How come? Is that bad?”
“No, that’s great! She’s evolved!”

Evolved? Well, crap…

I asked the hygienist not to tell my daughter about this. I can’t have her walking around knowing that she’s higher on the food chain than her own parents.

Speaking of evolution, my blog has evolved as well. You all are so damn wise. Yes, my stats are different because most people read me via feed now. Duh. How come I am the last one to the knowledge party? Thanks for your comments and emails. And tinkering. And threats of physical violence. I love you guys! (yelled in the voice of a drunk guy at a party)

I had a totally Jentastic moment this weekend. My new Jazzercise center (Yes, I’m actually in the process of switching to a center that pays me to teach class. Oh, the drama!) put up an Instructor Picture Wall with all of our labeled smiling faces. Somehow, mine came out looking like an aging, jaundiced, fitness reptile. When I first saw the picture, I had a Jensa reaction. I didn’t actually cry but I wanted to cover it up with my hand (and may have for a moment) …or take it down and run like hell. I made the joke about feeling like Jen at the BB8 picture wall and of course nobody got it. Who are these people that don’t watch Big Brother?

Oh well. Later this week, I’m going to secretly replace my ugly mugshot with a picture of an old crocodile and see if anyone notices. Let you know.

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