During a conversation with my wise and dear cousin, who lives too far away from me in Okinawa, I had another brilliant idea.
First of all, I have to tell you how very much I miss my cousin. You know, I don’t have enough good friends in this world that truly get me without judgement to have one of them occupying space in a freaking foreign country! I love that we are cheap therapy for each other as well as evil half sisters at heart. We have always been two sides of a coin but now as mothers and adults, our connection is amazing. Okay, I’ll move on now but she seriously needs to move back here dammit! Enough said.
We were talking about our family, as usual, when the subject of my not-so-favorite uncle came up. He and his lovely wife (no, I am not willing to claim her as kin) run a tax accounting office in Bumfrick, MD where they seem to have received the titles of King and Queen of the county, or so you would think after spending any time with them. Anywho, that’s terribly old news. What’s funny is that their office sends out a monthly newsletter to all of their clients and somehow the entire family has ended up on the list.
Now, don’t get crazy here…of course, none of us are stupid enough to have them do our taxes. Believe me, they look down on us underlings enough without inviting them to snoop through our personal financial matters. No, no, but in the true We will always know more than you could ever know manner in which they lead their lives, they seem to think we would all but salivate over the monthly email enlightenment. Hell, we’d probably forward it on to our slow-witted, hump-backed friends as well.
I junked it at first sight without a pause but I’m cold like that. However, my cousin’s inbox is still quite haunted. During our clever banter (yes, because we are extremely smart and capable women – roar!), the brilliance hit me.
“You know, I should totally add them to our Jazzercise email list! The whole office will get a zillion weekly updates and monthly special emails about all kinds of nonsense that doesn’t apply to them. They’ll be like, Why are we getting information from a gym in Virginia?”
My cousin was understandably jealous. “Awwww! I wish I had a newsletter to spam them with!”
Aren’t I clever? And I’m totally doing it… as petty as it is. Fight spam with spam, I say.
What about you?
Would you put up with spam from your family? Are you a Fam Spammer?
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There are times when I have been tempted.
I don’t spam. Fortunately most of my family is internet ignorant. Some know about my site but are too technically-inept as to a) save the URL in their favorites and b) remember how to type the URL (even if they could remember it) into the address bar. For this I am pretty darn grateful. This also means they don’t email much, if at all. Again, I am grateful. And for my ex-step-mother-in-law that used to send all the ‘warnings’…I used to reply to her with a link to Snope.com de-bunking whatever myth she was propogating. Then I started replying to all her friends too. She finally took me off her distro list. I’m evil like that.
Hit the reply to all button with a story about your last bowel movement.
You know, I COULD add them to my playgroup distribution list! That’s news they could use.
It was great to chat with you the other day. It felt so short but did you know we chatted for an hour?
I love you. And miss you.
Soon, soon.
We get spam from family, solicitation from every pot/pan/basket/natural/MaryKay thing from the Moms around town.
Sometimes I get an evite and wonder who it is. I’m certainly not that popular. It gets old.
I am weak!!! I get forwards from my family and friends all the time. I have tried telling them I don’t read them, but it just pisses them off. Go figure. So I gladly take the forwards and delete them without reading them.
PS love your icons
That’s a great idea! You could also call one of those male erectile dysfunction treatment centers and put him on their mailing list.
Fighting spam with spam is so tempting! The only downside is they know you exist then.
I delete those damn things as well. My brother in law is addicted to sending me the grossest, silliest things he can find. And he can find many. I also have a few friends I haven’t seen in ages, whose only proof of life is the fact they still send me chain e-mails and the nasty sort.
Never shall I fight spam with spam… everybody’s got a limit. I’ll kill baby Hitler, whatever you want me to do, but spam is just pure evil.
My best friend basically spams me. “Fwd:Fwd:Fwd:” and such. At least twice a week. Pisses me off. I WRITE her an e-mail and expect a response, and I get crap “fwd:” jokes.
Seriously, you could spend about 30 minutes looking in your Spam folder and take the time to sign your uncle up for the most horrendous offenders. Surely, he’s Viagra. In fact, publish his email and we’ll all send him requests for information about his company. Hours the office will spend wasting their precious collateral materials on out-of-staters.
My aunt sends me all kinds of spam… I just delete it. What’s worse is my aunt sends it to my mom who then forwards it to me. I’m getting double spammed!
Unfortunately, they think they are being sweet….