It was a beautiful afternoon as I walked from the grocery store into the crowded parking lot outside. My 8 year old buckled up while chatting with me over the seat as I stacked the plastic bags inside the back of the car. All of a sudden, I heard a voice behind me.
“Excuse me?”
I whirled around and gasped. “You just scared the crap out of me!”
“Sorry”, the strange (as in stranger) woman said and we both let out a little nervous laughter.
I am calm but not always witty in these situations. I am, however, vigilant. As much as it freaks me out to be approached in a parking lot, I took a moment to study the woman before me. She looked to be in her mid-thirties, dressed in normal looking jeans and a t-shirt, carrying one grocery bag and a rather large purse. At this point, I was totally positive that she was going to ask me for directions.
I was wrong.
“Hi. Um..I just live up a road a bit and I was wondering if you wouldn’t mind giving me a ride to my house?”
I just stood there and stared at her. WTF? Is this a test from God? I thought to myself. Or worse, a crucial life lesson moment for me to convey to my wide-eyed daughter ? Either way, my spidey sense was going crazy.
“What happened?”, I asked as I finished putting the last bag in the car.
“What do you mean?”, she asked.
“I mean, did your car break down or something?”
“Ummm…no, I don’t have a car.”
“Oh.”
I considered all of my options. As I said, the lady looked fairly normal and was very polite. But what the hell? She just walks places and asks for rides? She was not old or limping or sick or with a screaming baby. And what was in that purse of hers? And why did she look so nervous?
“You know what…no.” I finally said. “I can’t. I’m sorry but I’ve got my daughter in the car and I don’t know you. I can’t do that. It’s just too weird.”
Like I said, not an incredibly witty response but I get points for honesty and not letting the Good Samaritan guilt allow me to place my child in what could have been a dangerous situation. I didn’t feel great about not helping the woman but I just couldn’t take the risk. I would have given her directions or money if she asked or let her use my cell phone…but get in the car with us? Na-ah. I knew the decision I made would stay with my 8 year old forever - mostly because I planned to firmly imprint it in her mind with my words once I safely returned to the car.
The woman looked uneasy and started to back away.
“Sorry!”, I called out to her.
I watched her as she crossed through the parking lot to the sidewalk, never once stopping to ask any of the other many,many people loading their cars for a ride. What did that mean? Did I make her sad enough to hoof it home or did she just have a hankering for my particular diamond setting? I’ll never know.
I do know that I was able to teach my daughter a good lesson right in the moment- even if I didn’t feel like the best person about my actions. For the record, I did want to help the woman. And as I type this, I’m still wondering what would have happened if I had.
I would have said no, too.
You did good!
xo
LBC
I would have said “NO”, same reasons. I also do not jump people’s cars, or let them rope me into “surveys” and if someone comes to my door trying to sell something, I say, “Just a minute…” and slam the door shut.
It’s funny to listen and they wait, and then a minute or so later, you hear their footsteps as they confusedly walk off the porch, looking around and scratching their heads. I do not trust ANYONE.
PLUS I would not want to chit-chat with a stranger. It’s too tedious.
Even if my kids weren’t in the car, I would have said no. We don;t live in a world where you can do that kind of thing anymore. Too many scary things happen. I don’t know if you saw in the news the Cheshire CT home invasion where a doctor was beat and tied up in his basement while his 2 teenage daughters and wife were raped, brutalized, and killed upstairs while he listened. Then they set his house on fire. This was less than an hour from where I live. Uh uh, I don’t even answer the door at home unless i know who it is. You did the right thing.
I have said no to people before. I think you did the right thing. I think we know by gut instict when to be the good samaritan and when to watch out for our own best interests and the safety of ourselfs and children.
Trust your instincts. “Something” told you she wasn’t on the level. If your “Alarms” hadn’t been going off, you probably would have said ‘yes.’
You did right.
I think you did the right thing too.
I do wonder what she really wanted.
I would have said no, just like you, child or no child.
Hmmm - tough call. With the kids, a definite NOPE. Without the kids, I dunno. Kinda freaky that she didn’t ask anyone else though.
I would have felt bad too, but I would have done the exact same thing…even if my kids weren’t in the car. There are just too many crazies out there. If it was a test from God she would have just asked for cab money.
Oh, man, these things are so hard. If it was just me, I might have given her a ride home if my feelers weren’t warning me. But with a kid, you really, really have to put their interests first, above yours, so caution is extra-important.
YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. Never thing otherwise. Your first duty is to protect your daughter. And you did. I learned a long time ago from working with the public, in a grocery store as coincidence would have it, to trust your gut. Everytime I let my moral jusgement get in the way I was wrong. unforunately, we cannot assume the good in other human beings.
You didn’t smell the red meat ozzing out of her purse?
I think I would have been fearful of saying ‘no’ considering she was in an ideal hyjacking position. You did the right thing - there was something very weird about her answer regarding her car. Put yourself in her position. You would not have asked a total stranger to drive you home - you would not have walked up behind them at their car - you would certainly have had a reason for not being able to drive yourself. :O
Your obligation to your child comes before charity to strangers - it just does.
I would have done exactly as you did, and have done the same. Once I was stopped by a woman who offered to pay me for a ride. I felt bad for telling her no, but if she had the money then she should have called a cab. I was alone, and explained to her that, as a mother, I don’t give strangers rides.
I definitely would have felt bad, but I wouldn’t have either. Who knows what was in that bag and if she just lived up the way, why did she need a ride? It’s sad that this is the world we live in though.
Oh, you did the right thing. You’ve gotta listen to that ‘little voice’ that tells you something isn’t ‘right’.
You may feel a teeny bit guilty about not giving her a ride, but you could be feeling a whole lot worse right now if you had done it.
Your gut is always right…she got there somehow, she can get home somehow. I, too, would offer money for a cab or whatever, but get in my car? Nope, not happening.
I’m a softie, but HELL NO I’m not giving Random Parking Lot Lady a ride. Definitely weird.
I think you handled it just perfectly. I would have done the same thing. It’s not the same world as 15 years ago. With or without a kid along, if I don’t know them, they aren’t getting a ride in my car.
Wow, that was a tough call. I wouldn’t do it either. I think you made a good decision! Nothing to feel guilty about.
Yikes! I agree, you did the right thing. Even ‘normal’ looking people can be dangerous. And an excellent lesson for your daughter too. Who asks random strangers for rides these days?
I agree totally that you did the right thing but wouldn’t it be funny if that woman had a blog and to read about the situation from her perspective?
I would have done the same thing, but probably would have made up a story as to why I couldn’t rather than say it was too wierd.
Last month my husband, 6 yr old, and I were at a red light. There was a man begging for money, putting his hands in the drivers window of the car ahead of us. We prayed the light would change before he came to our car. My husband and I started discussing our options should the man come to our car, locking the doors as we agreed he wouldn’t roll down his window for this man. So the man comes over and asks him to roll down his window …. and MY HUSBAND REACHED FOR THE BUTTON (WTF?) so I gently said, “Don’t roll down your window” (thank god he didn’t). My husband shook his head no, that he wouldn’t and that he didn’t have any money to give him. The man “just wanted a dollar so he could buy some cigarettes” and of course our daughter wanted to know why we refused to help him.
Oh the lessons children have to be taught so young — that not everyone is completely trustworthy. And if they are, you can’t always take the chance that they are with your family in the car.
Heck NO. Seriously I woulda been scared for my son’s and my life, it just does not add up.
My grandparents did drive a girl home once, and they thought she was “so nice” since she could speak Ukrainian to them, yeah she stole my grandmothers purse and drained the bank account within minutes when she figured out her bank card pin number. grrrr……
It amazes me what complete strangers will do. I had a woman approach me once at a yard sale in my neighborhood, never seen her in my life, and she asked if I’d babysit her little girl every afternoon. I thought, “Woman, you don’t even know me, and you’re ready to entrust your child to me?” Crazy.
About your parking lot situation, I would hope I’d have said no like you did. You did the right thing.
Absolutely, positively, without a doubt, you did the absolute, Grade-A best possible thing EVER! (Okay, I may have left out, “It’s just too wierd,” but that’s a matter of style.)
And when she didn’t seek a ride from other motorists? Heh, tells the tale.
Well done!!!!
~ Tom
You did the only thing that could be done. Way too dangerous to pick up strangers.
You know I walk to the grocery store and “live just down the street.” My ass walks home! AND, I carry more than one bag of groceries.Speaking from the voice of a streetwalker, she was going to kill you.
P.S. I am SUCH a loser and have NEVER taken the photo of the Real Simple bag. Believe it or not I dragged the f-ing bag to Santa Fe, and my iPhone camera died (just a charging issue.)
If you had said yes, you could have been the subject of a Lifetime movie “Sympathetic mother gives poor stranger a ride which results in car jacking, kidnapping and ten year search to get her daughter back.”
You were right to say no.