No one is the beast here. It’s called “self-branding”.

Why has it taken me so damn long to post a recap from events which began a week ago? Don’t ask me. All I can tell you is that I’m still processing. The 2007 BlogHer Conference birthed quite a bit of information coupled with the meeting, shaking hands and asses of over 800 women (Yes, I got them all – we speed dated).

The W itself was puzzle in which we set forth daily to conquer. Put your key in. Now, take it out. Nope, put it back in. Okay, take it out real quick. Now hurry! Push the button for your floor. No, you missed it again. You suck! Between the techo music piped into the elevators and the lack of any kind of bathroom privacy (bamboo shutters & a sliding door on a fanless bathroom in a tiny room does not a happy intestine make) Turn up the TV real loud and plug your nose. Please? Oh, just hold it, dammit. It’s only 4 days!

And don’t worry, if they bring you up a beautiful wine & cheese basket that your husband sent that may or may not contain sour, smelly cheese that may or may not have been planted and circulated throughout the entire convention, it’s not a problem. The staff at the W will come up and “style” your smelly room free of charge while your off possibly planting it elsewhere.

The convention itself provided great food, wicked fast internet connectivity and a schwagilious bounty of free gear. I can’t post a complete picture of mine like many bloggers have due to the fact that I was accosted at the door by 2 underage red-headed souvenir addicts upon my return home.

The pair fleeced me of all but a few business cards. Fortunately however, they did not get their mits on my Real Simple bag. I earned that bag dammit and lucky for you the story has already been posted (with more pictures) by my awesome W roommate. Go check it out but be sure to come back and tell me how proud of me that you are. I totally crashed a party, dude !!

There were cocktail parties so loud that you lost your voice and led with your breast. There was enough walking in cute but impractical shoes to provide blisters galore on black toe-nailed feet. There were gobs of talented and ultra hip bloggers that were totally approachable and a freaking blast to hang with as well as a sprinkling of those snobby snubbers who felt better pretending to be above us all – or maybe just me. (Notice the negative non-linkage? Yeah, I’m doing my part to keep BlogHer meow-free.)

Saturday night my very good friend and red hot blog designer came up to meet me in the Windy City. (click it…it gets bigger)

Yes, we had a ball. Leanne is just as wonderful as I expected her to be and even more beautiful in person. Her visit really made the evening rock as my convention high was waning (or is it waxing?). However some crazy room party got me going again although I pooped out early to get the last sleep of my life as a 33 year old.

Sunday was departing day as well as my big 34. I tried to ignore the birthday but I was sucked into a big fat pity party that I threw for myself at the last minute. Honestly, being away from my family on my birthday really bummed me out. That plus the lack of sleep and very poor diet (Can you guess how many cheeseburgers I consumed in Chicago?) made Kimberly a weepy bitch. Sorry, guys (mostly Lindsay). I really thought I did a better job of hiding it.

Sunday did have a highlight though. I got to break away from the trendy W and enjoy lunch with a blogger and dear friend that happens to live in Chicago. My darling Vicki welcomed me into her lovely home and along with Mamacita (loved her), her sweet daughter and the very funny, Michelle. We had a yummy lunch at “the good bar” a block from her place. The entire time I felt like I was at a the table with a group of old friends. Well, I was, wasn’t I?

The trip home sucked cheese so we won’t go there. If you would’ve asked me then if I’d be attending BlogHer’08, I may have ripped your whole head off with my teeth (but that would have happened if you asked me anything besides “Would you like wine with your massage, young lady?”. Now though, I’d say yes…as long as it’s not on my birthday. I guess I’m a whimp that way.

What about you? Up for next year?
And how do I get a “I survived BlogHer’07 button”? Because I did…just barely.
Let’s create something to honor ourselves. Whaddya say?

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