Monday is my annual Well Woman Exam. One thing she’ll tell me is that I have high blood pressure. Why? Because, as usual, I’ve been stressing my hypochondriac mind with all of the things I am probably dying from this year. It never fails.
Is that a lump?
If I keep chewing on the inside of my mouth, will I get cancer?
Does that mole look funny?
Can you catch a anything from handling iguanas?
Most of all though, I dread the weigh in. Why? Because it stays on your permanent record for.ever. My goal is to always come in under last year’s weight and it pisses me off that they never tell you how you fared.
The nurse just looks at you, scribbles down the number and says…“Okay, right this way.”
You know me, I have to ask.
“Ummm, what was last year’s?”
If I came in above, which has been the unfortunate trend, I want a do over.
“Can we try that again?”
Blank stare from the nurse.
“How about if I go and change into the gown, give my urine sample and then meet you back here in 5 minutes? Will that work?”
Yeah, that’s my plan for this year. That and starving myself all weekend.
How warped am I?
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You are a character. A number is just a number, just like your age…..it is how you feel that matters most. Don’t worry so much…….easier said then done…right?!! Good luck with your visit.
I have friends who eat an apple a half hour before their annual exam as it lowers your blood pressure reading…
Totally feel your pain
With all of the jazzersize you are worried about your weight?!? Ha! Unless you gained 30 lbs since the last time I saw you there is nothing for you to worry over.
No salt for a week before – no carbs the night before – no fluids prior to the visit and eliminate unnecessary clothing such as undergarments (you just have to take them off anyway). Deep breathing exercises as you drive to the docs’ to lower BP – picture yourself sitting at the pool breathing in all that mountain air.
You’ll be fine. You can see I never stress out.
I just close my eyes when they weigh me now.
I understand. I plan my wardrobe around the weigh-in before I go to the doctor.
Not my wardrobe. My OUTFIT. Der.
Too funny!! I always try to eat something greasy or heavy for dinner the night before the dr appt. That way if my body performs correctly I will clean my colon and hopefully drop some of that weight
Not that it makes a huge difference…but every little bit helps!
I am so ashamed to admit this, but I haven’t been going to my annuals for a couple, because I want to weight what I weighed before kids before I go.
That’s so awful. I am so ashamed. I need to make an appointment now.
I weigh myself naked after my bath if nobody is home to see me sprint to the kitchen where the people scales are. Makes me feel like I’ve lost some weight when we all know that I really didn’t. :giggle:
Ha! I’m glad to know I’m not the only hypochondriac. It became much worse once I was a mom, because DAMMIT, I HAVE TO BE AROUND FOR THESE KIDS!
Um, anyway, I got to way myself at the OB and I always gave them a weight ten pounds less than I really was! :giggle:
Bah, I use the weight as an excuse for the latest free appetite suppresant sample in the office since I can’t seem to get past this certain point – it’s obviously a chemical thing. It has nothing to do with the gallons of ice cream I consume. Nothing.
I bet you’ll be pleasantly surprised. I think they elevated “normal” results now because of the average stress of a person, so I’m sure you’ll come under. :P
It’s the boobsquashing party that makes my BP elevated. Ow.
Uh….Momma?….Seems like pretty last-minute stuff to me. Start now for next year.
I just turn my back on the scale and let the “expert” do his/her thing. I don’t wanna know the number!!
- Jane, Pinks & Blues Girls
It’s a KNOWN rule that you pee before you weigh at the doctor’s office. And remove all jewelry and heavy shoes. And you never wear anything but cotton shorts and a t-shirt. I can’t decide if a deep breath makes you lighter or heavier though…
I am totally with you. What I want to know is: Why do they insist on weighing you NO MATTER WHY YOU’RE AT THE DOCTOR? it’s just mean, and if I’m in for a UTI, do they really need my weight to give me prescriptions? I’m just saying. Every time I think I’ll stand up to them and just say no. But then I wimp out. Maybe next time.
Oh my goodness! This made me laugh out loud! :yahoo:
I do the same thing!
[...] in the (pre-35) good old days, I used to think the worst part of a physical exam was hopping on the scale. I actually gave myself a mental pat on the back for not sweating that part this morning. However, [...]