So I taught my first class last Thursday. Yes I did and it was wonderful. I’m not saying that I was wonderful but the feeling of triumph and completion was over the top giddy. Go me. Hopefully I don’t fall on my face tomorrow when I teach class #2.
Saturday night we went out to celebrate a friend’s birthday at a new Cuban place in town. First of all, I have to tell you about the woman that owns this joint. She thinks she is such hot dookey, I am not even kidding you. Once my husband and I went in there in the middle of the afternoon and all of the tables were empty. She had the nerve to ask me if I had a reservation with a straight face. After we were sat, she proceeded to walk up and down the aisle shaking her big ass and chewing gum like a cow. I’m not being mean here. She did these things and we were forced to notice. Large ass, lots of gum. Yep, we see you.
Saturday night we repeated the drill.
“Do you have a reservation?”
“Yes…it’s under…”
As I paused to think of who made the reservation, I happened to glance ever so slightly at the book in front of her.
And you know what she did?
She covered it with her arms.
Like I’m a reservation cheater.
“Oh, no. I’m not cheating.”
“You’d be surprised what people will do to get in here.”
“You’re kidding me.”
“No”
I wanted to kill her.
Dinner was interesting. My friend (who was turning 29 again) is a writer. I recently told her about my blog because she said she had one. Around here people do not blog. This was big news so I was compelled to share.
Somehow over the very yummy black rice and wine, the subject of writing came up and then my blog. I didn’t bring it up, of course, because I really thought I was on the DL. Nope. As it turns out, half of ladies at the table have been reading my blog for a while now – and even some of their husbands! I was shocked. I was even more shocked to learn that people which I have written about in a not-so-nice way have perused this here site. Yikes. Maybe the Cuban lady is next. That actually is scary because she could probably take me.
So I’m outed locally and I’m not real sure what to do with that.
This is totally off subject but here a few questions that have been swirling around in my brain:
1) If I need sugar free Red Bull in order to teach class, can I claim it on my taxes? If my CPA Uncle wasn’t such an ass, I’d ask him.
2) Is all poop considered manure or just the big animal piles? I mean you don’t say, “Please clean up your cat’s manure”…right?
3) Why does Fergie need to spell words out in all of her songs? Do you think she’s showing off? I told my daughter that she must be trying to redeem herself from a spelling bee incident gone wrong. What do you think?
That’s all from Petroville. MommaK out.
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i’m too insecure to be outed. I think I’d pack up shop if I found out people I know were reading mine. Just the thought gives me a stomache ache.
Sugar free Red Bull? To teach your class?!? Be careful. LittleMiss HeartAttackWaitingToHappen.
Is manure straight poop? I thought it had a mixer.
Great Stories! Especially the Cuban restaurant woman- How bizarre! I’m glad you said you weren’t cheating- serves her right. You’ll have to think of something really catty to say the next time you go!
As for being outed- What can I say? We’ve definitely talked about the ups and downs of that! It’s not so bad, and then again, it sucks.
OMG, you’ve been outed?! That is one of my biggest fears.
I must be weird, I tell everyone about my blog
But I also don’t write everything that I could :o
So maybe now i will create a blog that is just for me…hmm. :mischievous:
I was outed when I blogged before and it limited what I felt I could write. Now that I’m blogging again, no one I know reads it….aside from my mom.
As for your questions…I can take a stab at #3…because she’s Fergalicious?
Better question…why are all of her songs big strings of rip offs from other songs? Even better question…why do I know any of this?
I really regret ever telling anyone that I had a blog. My fear was that no one would read it, so I told people in my family, and a few friends, so that I could at least have a couple of fans. Now I have waaaaaay too many readers who also know me in real life. So you see, I am not as sweet as I seem on my blog. I’m just afraid of pissing off various people.
There’s such a thing as sugar free Red Bull? My daughter who blogged was outed publicly by the Phila. Inquirer. As thrilled as she was to be the subject of an article on young hip Philly bloggers, she was very conerned about people-especially co-workers finding out about her blog, and reading it. Although the names were changed to protect the annoying, it wouldn’t be too hard to figure it out. At first she said “oh well”. but then she went back and deleted the old posts.
So you have readers, thats a good thing. I agree with your logic on Fergie. What do you think about Gwen and the giant G in her veidos?
My thoughts on the Cuban lady-bad; What if you, ok someone, called and made a bunch of reservations under fake names and you made one for your family and friends. Then y’all could have the place to your selves. Too mean?
Oh, well sounded funny anyway…
HAHAHAHA – I just talked to my sister about the Fergie question 2 days ago. We were in the car and that new song GLAMOROUS came on and again with the spelling of everything. Kaiden asked me if all her songs had bad words in them since she always spelled them.
OMG – The cuban lady couldn’t take you – you could shake-shake-shake faster than she could blow a bubble, I bet.
I don’t hide my blog, really, I give out cards with the URL. I’m crazy like that. But I also could have thirty other blogs, who really knows with me. I can see how it’d be a little freaky though, I mean this is your refuge. It’s like a neighbor walking into your house and digging under your mattress (matress?) and you walk in to find them sharing a latte with another friend on your bed with all your personal stuff lying all around them. Okay now that’s a terrifying visual. I hope you don’t delete your blog because I said that.
Manure is big piles, and I think it has to have hay in it, or recyclable material or something. You could inspect the poop for hay or grasses, or maybe just invent a manure detecor. Then you wouldn’t need so many rubber gloves and noseplugs.
I think of Fergie as a redheaded princess on Weight Watchers. Who are you talking about?!?!
:giggle:
I have had people tell me that they read me. I was as shocked as you are. I have no idea how some of them found me. Alas, I’ll write what I want. If I offend someone… it’s my blog and I can say what I want to, right? Don’t sweat it.
Manure comes from large animals. For cats and dogs – it’s either poo or sh*t – you pick.
Sugar free red bull – eeewwww.. I bet you can claim that AND your haircuts, your manicures, and your jazz clothes. Call me – I have info…
Fergie spells because she can’t find other words to use in the song… Her thesaurus must be broken, or missing…
I know — next time you go for Cuban food, drop a Jazzercise card with the lady. Tell you you can help her out.
My sister was married to a Cuban man — your description definitely conjures up images of the former mother-in-law!!
So you have more fans than you knew you had… that’s cool!
Count them as fans and leave it at that. You are a blog celebrity. Are you gonna print up some t-shirts? :-)
I think it’s cute that you didn’t know you were outed already.
So the “never-do” ladies know, huh?
How did you get outed to all those other people?
Just the LARGE piles are “manure.” Little ones are “poop.” They had to change it to “manure” to differentiate between the two, because before, it was either “Poop” or “BIG ass pile o’ shit” and the latter was too long to say.
:wave: I’m so sorry you were outed! I tell everyone about my blog. Even my dad reads it.That woman at the restaraunt deserves a kick in that big butt of hers. I hope she blows a bubble and it pops in her hair!!
LMAO..I just mentioned to PC that I had heard a new Fergie song..and there was MORE spelling. We were trying to decide if she just wanted everyone to know that she could indeed spell, had gone to school, and that yes, she does have a brain.
You’ve been outed! Now word will spread!
HA! I can’t believe that you were thinking the same thing as me about Fergie. I guess it worked the first time so instead of trying something new, stick to what works.
I wonder about the Red Bull too. I wonder if Starbucks could be written off on my taxes. Or wine?
I’m sure someone has already thought of Starbucks as a deduction!
That is so funny with the Cuban lady – I remember the first visit – who was she kidding with the reservation question? The place was deserted. I’m surprised you went back there – the food did not impress me although the restuarant decor was cute. But who cares on ladies night out! :yahoo:
I think it depends on how big your cat is.
Have you noticed that Fergie also sometimes misspells words – just so they fit the rhyme of the song better? For example, in Fergielicous she spells tasty as tastey.
I don’t think you have to worry about Ms. Restaurant Lady Thang seeing your blog. Chances are hot dookey don’t know how to read a lick.
Which is probably what her and Fergie have in common.
I don’t know anybody who says “manure.” Around here, we say “doodie,” which covers both manure and poop. Try it; you’ll like it (so to speak).
I don’t really like being ‘outed.’ Then I have to be careful about what I write. When Jagman finally switched jobs, I was so glad that no one would know about my blog. Then I found out later he mentioned it to someone at the new place! It’s a toss-up. It’s nice to have readers, but it’s not nice having to censor what we would normally write about.
I guess being “outed” can be good and bad. I have some people who know and some people who don’t. My immediate family, my best friend and my next door neighbours all know and read my blog. But then my extended family, the rest of my neighbours, and Prince Charming’s family don’t know where it is. That is on purpose. I need to be free to say what I want to. I need to feel free on-line and not second-guessing myself.
Cat manure, hmm. I wonder how Fergie would spell that.
I have to tell you that I know the cuban place you are talking about, and I know the “cuban woman” that runs it very well. I feel compelled to let you all know that she is not an ass-shaking, gum popping bitch. She has actually lost a lot of weight as a result of hard work trying to run a business which she is very proud of and has wanted for a long time. I am sure each and every one of you has been unfairly judged at first impression, but apparently that does not hinder you from doing the same to others, which in my opinion is a very sad testament to your lives that you have nothing better to do than to sit around and poorly bash people that you do not know. As for the reservation thing, I work as a hostess at another restaurant in town, and even if the restaurant is completely empty, we are still required to ask if they had a call ahead or reservation and to mark that in our book for daily reporting purposes, along with the days weather and other seemingly trivial things. It is just part of our business as I am sure it is part of hers. So hopefully this will make you think about things, and hopefully next time you will not be so quick to judge, or at least you will not be so quick to publicly display your judgement and will keep your unfair and rude remarks to yourself.
Hey, girl! I think outings are a good thing – you go girl! I can’t believe all of these comments you are getting – you are really reaching people. I can only hope for the same. You gotta teach me how to do all this – seriously! Oh, and I’ve seen your moves – you definitely don’t need Red Bull to get you through your class.