How was your Thanksgiving? Mine was wonderful, thank you.
We had 14 guests, 2 fried turkeys, 3 wine spills, 1 broken bowl and a round of couch-jumping sprinkled with a touch of shin-kicking. Sounds pretty normal, right?
I have a very bad habit at family get-togethers. I become The Fixer. Got a problem? A chip on your shoulder? A bad boyfriend? Money troubles? Family drama? Need a drink? How about another? Want to borrow an outfit? Come’mere sweetie. Let me just fix you right up. Be careful though…you may not like this one bit.
Yes, I stick my nose in where it doesn’t belong. All.The.Damn.Time. You have to know that I mean well. I really do want to help. I want everyone to get along. I want everyone to be happy and successful…and yes, I want everyone to do exactly what I think they should do. Thus, the problem.
This Thanksgiving I was off the clock. I fixed nothing but the dinner (well, some of it…my husband is a better cook than I am). And you know what? There were issues and I did not get involved. I did no fixin’ and the holiday survived. I can’t say it was a functional family holiday (re: couch-jumping and shin-kicking) but I can happily say that I was not a part of the problem. I hurt no one’s feelings and was the best hostess I could be under the circumstances. (Yes, I hid in the closet with my wine for a brief period but no one saw me so it doesn’t count. )
I feel very good about my new leaf turned and I really hope to keep on plugging away at minding my own GD business. It’s hard though…very hard.
Was there any family drama at your holiday?
Please share…I’m dying for a fix.
:duh: I am the worlds worst “fixer” and it gets me in trouble CONSTANTLY! As far as drama for the holiday, ha. Doesnt it ALWAYS happen? My brother-in-law’s girlfriend apparently cheated on him, and he raised all kinds of hell at dinner on thursday. Then SHE showed up, which made him madder. All in all, it worked out to be a good laugh
He always has some kind of drama going on, so now we all just laugh and watch it happen!
The biggest family drama we had was when my husband’s cousin informed everyone at the get together that the formal dining room was only for people over the age of 21.
Which pretty much took out my whole family because really … am I going to allow my children who are 8, 6, and 3 eat at the little kids’ table by themselves or, better yet, with other famly members, and make them not eat dinner with their parents?
This couple who hosted are pregnant with their first, if that tells you one thing. I think they are going to barricade their child in the upstairs rooms and never allow him/her downstairs.
No fixing here, thank goodness! Just the immediate family and one friend (who functions as my sous-chef for the Big Meal). I am not a fixer. Occasionally a fix-ee, perhaps!
I am such a fixer! I didn’t fix anyone this year either.I just didn’t invite the relatives I have that need fixing. Didn’t want to deal with the drama. I have hid in my closet with a glass of wine before too.
I love deep fried turkey - that’s the only way to go! Glad you enjoyed your Thanksgiving and the family drama-lessness. It is SO hard!
Well my long-version entry from this year is here. There’s always excitement and drama w/ this family.
I’m coming over. I don’t have a THING to wear.
Your turkeys look delish!
I’m a total fixer in my family. Both my husband and I are the peacemakers among our siblings. This year, we were at my in-laws and we got all the way to Sunday before there were family fireworks. It was too bad, we thought we were in the clear too! I guess, it is inevitable with some families…
Moi? 30 years as a therapist? Nah. I cannot relate to this post. Except the part about sitting in the closet with wine. That’s the main thing I miss about these smaller digs- a closet to sit and drink in.
Good for you. Let them eat cake. Mind your own business. Take care of yourself. . xoxoxo.
Not unless you count my little nieces and nephews going into the garage and turning off our hot water heater while we weren’t paying attention. It’s a good thing they were long gone when we woke up the next morning and headed for the showers . . .
Those turkeys look delicious! I’m a fixer too, can’t help it!
Well I didn’t hide in the closet, but I did hide in the basement. And I tried fried turkey for the first time this year!
I am giving you a round of applause! I am keeping out of things as well.
As we don’t have Thanksgiving in this country, there was nothing to fix. Maybe I would be a fixer if there were?
Yep. Me too. I have to work very hard not to fix things, to remember that it’s not my job to make things better. And to keep in mind that not everyone appreciates my advice and that as much as I mean well, sometimes I just screw it up. That said, I think my input has value and feel a responsibility to speak up if it might save someone from harm.
Take it from a recovering fixer…the more you don’t do it the more you’ll not miss it :pleasantry:
I am the one who arranges the get-to-gethers then sits in the corner and enjoys it all. My family is very, very loud. You literally need to YELL in order to be heard. I have a quiet voice so I gave up years ago trying to get someone to listen to my boring stories. We sure do have fun though!
We almost had a little drama, but it passed. I’m not so much a fixer as an absorber of other people’s stress.
Well now I’m glad it turned out just fine. Mine was almost the same-sorta. We sent it at my beloved’s step daughter’s new home, with his ex-wife, mother in law & uncle. It was interesting. I think I’m looking forward to Christmas, wonder what you get an husband’s ex-wife for a gift. Any ideas?
I don’t know if I’m a fixer or not. I think I give unsolicited advice, but not to that great of an extent. I went to my cousins, took my cranberry sauce and rice, and escaped shortly after dinner. No kicked shins. A miracle.
I am a fixer but I am also turning over a new leaf. (got burned too many times by trying to help) Life is a lot calmer this way.
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