Hey everyone. Lucinda here. Thank God MommaK asked me to guest post for her this week. Because something happened last weekend that I’ve been dying to write about, but couldn’t. Certain parties may read my blog down the road and get a little upset, if you know what I mean. So you’re getting the inside scoop right here and now. Enjoy!
“So, have you taken a look at your door sill lately?” my visiting father-in-law asked Sunday morning with a devilish grin.
“What?” I said, rounding the kitchen counter to take a look. The door sill is where Hubs and I, in timeless American tradition, keep tabs on the girls’ heights from holiday to holiday. Since we’ve lived in our house, the girls have been growing like weeds, and it shows in the number of markings on the door trim.
But on this day, I saw something unexpected.
In between my daughters’ names and dates was another name. ‘Jennifer.’ In. Sharpie.
“Oh, Jennifer put her name up here,” I said irritatedly. Jennifer was the wild child of my husband’s best friend. He had brought his family over for barbeque the night before and I’d noticed Jennifer making a big deal about how the girls’ heights were marked and how her own parents wouldn’t allow that at home.
“I did it for a while in pencil,” Jennifer’s mother told me, “but it looked awful, so I rubbed it all off.”
So imagine my fucking shock when my father-in-law said, “Jennifer didn’t write her name there. Her mother did.”
Oh. No. She. Didn’t.
Bitch wrote on MY WALLS with a fucking Sharpie?
I challenge you here and now to top this appalling transgression in guest etiquette. I don’t think you can do it.
And I know what I’m bringing the next time Jennifer’s mom invites us all over for potluck dinner. A big fat fucking Sharpie. Because I think her newly-painted kitchen could use some, ahem, embellishment.
the nerve! what a psycho….
WHAT?! She didn’t want all those pesky marks on her wall, so she figured since YOU obviously don’t mind the mess, she could mark her daughter’s height at your house.
I thought if I wrote it out, it might make more sense to me.
I was wrong.
Sorry, I don’t think I can top that. NUTTY!
Okay, I have been lurking and reading you everywhere; and I believe that with the Whole Mom we are now within one degree of separation and my wicked PMS has removed a few inhibitions so I think I feel comfortable stepping up to the mike and saying this:
What she did was heinous. The act, yes of course - but in a way, it’s even more horrible because even if you can remove the name, you cannot remove the fact that it was there, and how it got there, from your brain. You cannot un-know it. And others know of it, so the knowledge has spread. And it has now polluted you and your home and your loved ones with its essence. Pure. Evilness.
So not only should you bring a Sharpie, but perhaps you should “Lewinsky” it, perhaps using any farm animals you might run into on the way there. And if you should find out where she keeps her toothbrush, I have a few suggestions.
How do you like that - a woman with nads! Hmmm, isn’t there a name for that?
A few summers ago, when my neighbor (a popular preschool teacher in my town, mind you) was “walking my dog” while we were vacationing at a beach on Long Island, our cell phone rings. It was her. “My friend and I can’t seem to log on to your computer. It’s prompting us for your password. Can you help?” Aaah, whaaaaat???? My password? Your friend? The computer was upstairs in my son’s room at the time. Needless to say, she didn’t get the password and hasn’t “walked our dog” since.
I would ask her to come over and figure out how to get the Sharpie off your wall. That’s the weirdest thing I ever heard! OCompletely not ok. I think you have to say something.
That is some FUCKED UP SHIT. The closest I can come is a weekend guest at a cottage we rented who did the following:
a) took the good bed for two nights in a row (leaving the other couple to sleep on the pullout)
b) started a fire when it was really windy and we’d asked her not to (being afraid the cottage would burn down).
c) burped incessantly
d) humiliated her husband by asking him whether he liked it when she dominated him during sex (don’t ask - it was a drunken conversation).
e) complained about the other guests afterwards
Yuck. Some people just don’t know how to behave.
:shocked:I don’t believe it. I would sooooo want to kick her a**…
OMG….when will I ever stop being shocked at the rudeness of other people! I would have had to say something to her. Why would she think you wanted it up there to start with? I bet she was jealous because she wasn’t the best mom and had erased her own daughters in her own home!
Yeah, I would totally call her out. Ask her if she knows how to get Sharpie off the wall. What a loon. I would NEVER write one someone else’s wall! Not even if they did! The nerve…
Holy crap. That is some NERVE, people.
I just can not even imagine. OHMYGAWD. Did you like this woman before the Sharpie incident or where there previous clue’s as to her extreme rudeness and no respect for other’s property? What did hubby say??
What a bitch. I think I’d take a nice green or red sharpie. Yes, that’s right. Somewhere that anyone would be able to see you could leave a “paybacks are hell” or “I love to vandalize neighbors’ homes.” I’m sure you could think of something more vile than that though, depending on your desired level of revenge.
I’d tell my husband “If I find a bunny boiling in a pot on the stove this week, you are so dead.
Sombody’s misplaced her “Code of Ethics” Booklet.
See, I would say something to them.
I can’t top that…
I have a set of friends though, that drive me nuts.
ME: Thanks for inviting us over, but I’m not good company right now. I hurt my back and I JUST WANT TO LAY ON THE HEATING PAD.
HER: Oh, poor thing! (blah blah chitchat). We could come to your house.
ME: Oh, but see, I can’t clean or entertain you or cook because MY BACK IS IN BAD SHAPE.
HER: Don’t worry about that, we’re practically family!
(after 30 more minutes of conversation, I give in so she’ll let me get back to my heating pad)
ME: Make sure you eat before you come over, because I can’t feed you. Can’t even go to the store. Sorry.
So they get there, my mom & dad have cooked out on the grill…and my friend and her family, who have JUST EATEN before they got there, proceed to eat half the food my mom sent over for me & my kids.
THEN I had to sit in the living room and chat instead of laying on my heating pad. *sigh* I’ve got to be more firm.
I vote for drawing a moustache on her face with a Sharpie.
:yahoo: OMGosh, emoticons!! I had to comment, just to use them! :wink:
Lucinda, I’d follow you anywhere~~~I’m sharpie shocked. You should give her a pencil box with a new sharpie, a Mr. Clean wall-eraser, and a box of bandaids. Tongue-in-cheek, (you can do this so well!) gift her with this box and explain how you wish that the Mr. Clean could erase sharpie, but, alas, only a bandaid can hide the mark. So, you’ve brought a kit for her, ’cause you know that her precious Jennifer will now feel compelled to mark her growth on the wall at home (plant that seed).
IF you take my advice, lol, please share the result!
C
Simple solution. Just sneak Jennifer a sharpie next time you are visiting her house and the message will be heard loud And clear. :yes:
You have GOT to be kidding me. Seriously, you should bring a whole set of sharpies to get her back for that. WTF.
Don’t think I can top that!
But maybe you can get some kind of invisible but glows in the dark marker to leave your mark all over the place next time you visit?? Not that I’d have the balls to do that… but sheesh. How does your FIL know it was the mother?? :eek:
Sharpie….nah! A big fat marksalot! What a creepy thing she did!
What a freaking loon. I can’t believe she had the gall to do that.
I like Emma’s suggestion myself :rofl:
You’ve all made great suggestions, guys! I know it was her because my stepdaughter saw her do it, then told the grandparents about it the night before. Everyone at my house was incredibly pissed!
The good news is that Magic Eraser took the Sharpie right off. The bad news is that I really can’t say anything, because we see them ALL THE TIME. And I really like her husband and his extended family… Ugh!
But I will be thinking of how to get my revenge, rest assured!
SHUT UP! I can’t believe that. That is something my idiot sister would do.
Sweetheart! Nightmare! And here was me thinking that YOU did something naughty.
That is such a slap in the face to you and your wall of measurements.
She is a jelous lady. Unbelievable shit!
And sharpie of all things… the nerve. There is some stuff to get it off walls - we had a sharpie on the car upholstery incident.
I will find out what the hell it’s called.
You know you need to call her on it don’t you. In a truly saccharine way.
Lucinda, you could take the “high” road. In this case, I’m imagining that you don’t exact revenge, but, this story becomes a viral post. Person after person spreads the virus. It is just a matter of time before it gets back to her. She can’t admit she is the foolish one and is forced to agree how horrible it is. You may never know whether this actually happens, but you can take secret delight in imagining the scenario. All the while, you get to look like an angel! Whadya think?
(This could also be know as the coward’s way out. I would have been so furious, but I know I would never be brave enough to say anything.)
:rant: Paybacks, as we all know so well, are just plain HELL. Somewhere down the line, you’ll see the perfect chance to do something that’ll settle the score.
Sorta like the time my former boss ordered me to make coffee for himself and another worker–after insulting my coffee for years. I’d just resigned from my job there, and was feeling sorta like giving him the big “screw you” anyhow, so….Okay, I made his stupid coffee, but I also spat a good one into the coffee pot as it brewed, and DANG, another 10 years later, I STILL feel great pride over that little misdeed. I didn’t know how liberating a little gob of spit could be!!!
:rofl:
I cannot top that infringement of guest etiquette. My sister-in-law is pretty competitive in this department, but I don’t think she’d write on my walls with a sharpie, and if she did, well, I think I’d just have to write all over her baby with a sharpie.
I trust that you will get the perfect revenge when the time is right.
Woah! That is just rotten. I had a similar thing happen to me when I was a child. My BFF came with me to my grandma’s farm one summer for vaycay. One day we found written on my grandmother’s wall “Stephanie was here” in pen. We asked her about it and she denied doing it (uh, hellooooo, you’re the only Stephanie that’s ever BEEN here)…and then she ripped about 3 inches of wallpaper off the wall where she had written it!!!!!
:twisted: You go girl! I can’t believe she had the nerve to do such a thing!!!
Well, I think a little redecoration on her walls to “return the favor’ is certainly in order.
Bring a big fat sharpie and embellish to your heart’s content!! How absolutely nervy of that witch to write on your walls!!! I am appalled! Embellish away, sister!!
LBC
A former ‘friend’ tried to steal my then-fiancee by showing up at his frat house in nothing but a trench coat. I was there!:rant: The next day at work, I had a gigantic tray of brownies delivered to her office (a bank) with a note from her sorority sisters. Of course, she ate them and generously shared with the other tellers at the bank. They were POT-laced brownies that made everyone feel ‘ill’.:camouflage:
The best revenge? When my husband married ME! :rofl:
Your mark may be permanently on your wall, but the mark my MIL made will be in my head forever. First, let me start by stating that for the first 10 years of our marriage, my MIL would not step foot into my house because I was not Catholic. She thought she would go to hell if she came into my house.
Then, for some unknown reason, she finally agreed to come to my house for my daughter’s 2nd Birthday. Several months later, at Christmas, she gave my daughter a ton of hair ribbons and special hair do-dads. Then she said, “I gave her all those pretty hair things because I noticed she didn’t have any when I went through all of your bathroom drawers.” WHAT!?!?!?! My mouth just dropped. Had she really just admitted to rummaging through all of my drawers in the one and ONLY time she had stepped foot into my home? Needless to say, the woman has not been back - that was almost 2 years ago.
You have to call her on it (politely). Otherwise, what else might she try to pull?
Oh, I don’t think you have to call her on it.
Just make a little sign ( index card size, maybe?) that says, in beautiful writing, ‘Sorry, family only’, hang it next to the area AND NEVER SAY A WORD ABOUT IT.
Sometimes knowing silence is so much more fun.
Oooh, I like that idea, daysgoby! :giggle:
WHOA. This post is titled SO perfectly- cuz that is sexactly what I was thinking…..OH NO SHE DI’INT!
You HAVE to reciprocate - you GOTS to, yo. It has already been brough-en.
OK, ok I’ve got one, but it didn’t happen to me. My MIL was watching my niece and decided to cut her hair without asking her mom. She was piiiiiissed!!
My mouth is open. Wide open! There are flies landing in there and birds and small woodland creatures of all sorts and I still cannot bring myself to shut it.
Nope, still open.
Thank you to Jennifer for writing on the wall. Thank you for shareing your dillema, as it has obviously caused many Domestic Divas to temporarily become Domestic Drama Queens..We all needed a break.
uh uhhhh! i cant believe that, i would be ha-woooopin some butt, girl ca-razzzzy! never again would she even be aloud near my house.
SINCERLY,
~unbeliveably shocked~