*And sometimes talks like Yoda she does.*

My apologies for keeping the kitty crotch shot up for so long but I’ve been a busy bee. I’d like to announce that after a full on nipple search on both cats as well as all of your wise advice here and on facebook, I feel confident that my cats are at least post-op trannies if not naturally male. We all feel better knowing because as GI Joe always said, “Knowing is half the battle.” And now I’m left wondering what the other half of the battle involves…

In other news, I wanted to give you a head’s up (just in case you are in the running) that I’m totally winning Mother of the Year for 2009. On Sunday, when I pick my 9 year old daughter up from her two week stay at summer camp, I will have the biggest, most coolest surprise to share with her. It will go a little something like this:

We’ll have the car packed with her trunk o’ filthy clothes. She’ll be busy chattering on about how much fun she had cantering every day on her favorite horse when we’ll call her dad on speaker phone.

Honey?
Yeah?
What do you feel like doing today?
I don’t know. I’m excited to see the dogs & cats. I’ve missed you guys. (I’m SURE she’s going to say how much she missed me.)
What would you say if I told you that we are getting on a plane in a few hours?
To California?
Yes. But better.
What???
Tonight, you and I are getting on a plane to San Francisco where we’ll meet up with your dad and sister and…are you ready for the best part?
YES!
We’re going to Disneyland!

Her mind may very well explode at this point so I’m going to have to be prepared to pull over and administer first aide. But do you think she’ll EVER forget a surprise of this magnitude? I think not.

And then I win Mother of the Year.

But before that, I have one more day with an empty nest and I intend on enjoying it. Food, fun & friends - it doesn’t get much better than that. Oh, and a 4 mile hike first thing in the morning. (God, I am SO OLD. A hike? Thrills me?)

Happy Fourth of July!!


PS - Don’t forget you still have a few days for left to enter for a chance to win a $250 Visa Gift Card!

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Yesterday, my husband called from San Francisco with an interesting question.

Him: Hey honey…this may sound weird but is it possible that Max and Clyde aren’t male?
Me: Huh?
Him: Well, I was just home and around those two cats all week. I came back to Dick and the thing is…he’s got, um, a penis.

Me: Don’t Max and Clyde have penises?
Him: I don’t think so, honey. They have more of a traffic light…like a girl.
Me: Girls have traffic lights?
Him: Listen, all I can tell you is that Dick has a penis and I’m pretty sure Max and Clyde don’t.
Me: But they came with boy paperwork from the animal shelter!
Him: I know.
Me: They’ve been fixed. The doctors have to know what sex they are!
Him: I don’t know what to tell you…
Me: Send me a picture of Dick’s penis.
Him: What???
Me: I want to see what you’re talking about. Maybe Dick is just especially endowed. Or maybe they leave more when they fix cats in CA as opposed to VA.
Him: Dick is not like Max and Clyde. He will KILL me if I try to take crotch pictures of him.
Me: Ugh…fine. I’ll ask the internet.

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So, Internet, I ask you:

Is it possible that these sweet, angelic, fuzzy MALE cats…

…are indeed female?

Is that a traffic light I spy?

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…I am speaking to a group of teens about blogging. Me! I hope I have enough to say and do not scar them with my tales. Also, I really hope they ask questions. Really, really. Wish me luck.

…Is the beginning of a 5 day vacation (staycation) from my everyone who lives in this house. Almost. One daughter is at camp and the other left last night to join her father in San Francisco. The “almost” refers to my 18 year old nephew that is currently staying with us whom I love dearly but is seriously putting a cramp in my usual staycation non-wardrobe. (see last year)

…Is the final day you can enter to win a $100 Grocery Gift Card and Wish-Bone prize pack! Enter on my site and then go to the BlogHer review round-up page where you can enter for 2 more chances to win.

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Tomorrow I have a serious question to ask you. Extremely serious AND important. So, don’t forget.

What are YOU doing today?

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Hey,

Sorry I was so bitchy/snarky/catty last night. Apparently I am pmsing in new ways!

Just for the record (now that I am sober and have had my midol):

1. You are not the least bit redneck-y.
2. Your spin friend is very sweet. I was just trying to be funny.
3. I was an idiot for saying ____________. (insert anything else offensive I said or did that I don’t recall at the moment).
4. You are a gem of a friend for putting up with me sometimes. (other times, I’m awesome)

*deep breath in and out*

Now that that’s behind us, I hope we are still hiking on Thursday!

xo
Kimberly

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There’s not a single Michael Jackson song that doesn’t bring back memories from my younger days. His music is forever embedded into my life.

No matter what you may think about him as a person and the way he lived his life, his music and his talents were magical.

I am grateful to him for sharing his gift with the world.

With me.



Michael, I will miss you.
Rest in Peace.

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You may be wondering just HOW to eat a crab. Well, first you pick out which big fat daddy you want to crunch on.

Then you flip him on his back and get ready to pull his tab (apron).

You stick your knife in between the top & bottom and pop his top.

Shuck top half, cut off the gills and clear out the mustard.

All clean! Now break him in half.

Enjoy the delicious bounty of Poseidon (or the Chesapeake Bay)!

Having a family crab night is an essential summer shin-dig around here. Whether it’s in your backyard on a newspaper covered picnic table or at your favorite shoreline crab house, it is a summer tradition of picking and drinking and eating and talking. Where I come from, eating crabs is a 3 to 4 hour event where you take off your jewelry, wear comfortable clothing that you don’t mind getting butter drippings on and most likely, you fast all day beforehand. Afterward your hands stink for a day which is totally fine because the smell only reminds you of the incredible feast you devoured the night before. Plus, lemon juice usually works to remove the odor (and the cats dig you).

One particular summer when I was about 10, we were having crabs at Delaware crab house. My cousin, who had never had crabs before, was with us. After the waitress took our order, she came back with our drinks and “tools”. To eat crabs you need a knife , a mallet and a cracker. You just do. Anyway, my cousin asked what the mallet was for. I told her that when the waitress brings out the huge tray of crabs and dumps them on the table they are partially cooked but still alive. The mallet is to kill them with. And you have to be quick before they bite you. As I recall, she looked a little uneasy. When the crabs finally came and were dumped on our table, she jumped and squealed like a pig. I was so proud of myself for fooling her. (Sorry Mere!) I tried that same line on my kids last night but they weren’t buying it.

As I brushed my teeth this morning, my tooth brush had the ever-so-faintest flavor of the sea and I smiled to myself. A great crab feast is like great sex only it lasts a hell of a lot longer.

Have you ever tried Chesapeake Bay Blue Crabs? What is your favorite summer food?

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**Editor’s note: These pictures were taken years ago with a simple (and at the time, crabby) point and shoot camera.

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Holy crap! I have this cute little blog that I used to write on almost every day. I totally forgot!

As it happens, as life happens, recent events have lured me into to other places, doing new and exciting things and therefore leaving little time to write here. I’m sure I’ll get into a better rhythm with it all but for right now I’m perseverating in several areas. As usual, I’m a sharer.

The first of which are these:




I can’t stop taking pictures of the cats.



Now you think I’ve completely flown the coop, right?



No, wait…I got a new lens and it’s so delicious (as are my kitties). So there’s that.

Also, I’m substituting at a different Jazzercise center this week which means I know no one and it’s scary. And I have to be perfect. PERFECT.

And next week, my lovely friend Susan has asked me to be a speaker at her summer writing camp. My topic? Blogging.

What the HELL am I going to say?

I could always show them my kitty pictures…

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If you were going to speak to a group of teens about blogging,
what is one thing you would be sure to mention?

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